depressing fact.

for some reason i honestly can feel that brendan didn't wanna hang last friday to actually hang out. i feel that he wanted me to come over his house because......... i mean, it's not impossible to think that. it's like very possible that that's what he wanted from me last friday. especially since i told him that i had a whole shot of raspberry smirnoff. so idk. it's VERY VERY possible.

but it's just making me sad because he thought im that kind of girl. like, why would he think that? im not saying that he actually thought about it.. coz he might've actually wanted to hang out-- which i thought about at first. but if he did think about it.. it just saddens me that he thought im that kind of girl. this is like karl thinking emily would do it with him. and idk. it's really sad.

but chris said maybe it's because brendan's a guy and i'm a girl. so it's possible that that's what he wanted last friday. but then again, maybe not. so idk.

and i so know this isn't gonna go anywhere. I KNOW SO. and usually, when i think about it, it's true. so i know it's true. so whatevs. im actually gonna try to forget about him.

A SURVEY FROM MYSPACE DEDICATED TO BRENDAN

1. Are they on your top?
no.

2. Are they tall or short?
definitely tall.

3. How many letters are in their name?
7.

4. Have you met them in person?
yes. and i wouldn't ever regret meeting him.

5. What do you like most about them?
he is unbelievably stunning and gorgeous at the same time, smart and really really nice. he's very sweet and very caring.

6. What annoys you about them?
he doesn't annoy me at all. but i just got sad because of something that he might've thought and i don't like how he's all that i said at number 5.. i hate it coz i like it.. get that feeling?

7. If they tried to kiss you would you let them?
i sooo would.

8. Do they like you?
you tell me.

9. If you got together, would it piss anyone off?
actually it might for a lot of girls.

10. What if they showed up at your house right now?
i would be soooooooooo excited and i would so jump up and down. i wouldn't even like ask him why he's here. but i would just honestly give him the longest ass hug.

11. Say tomorrow they ask you if you like them. Would you tell them?
i guess.

12. Could you see yourself loving this person?
yes

13. Are you waiting for THEM to make a move?
sadly, yes.

14. What if they moved away?
he will eventually. and that's what im trying to prepare for. when i actually have to say the word "bye" to him. coz i will really really miss him. like not even as that. i would miss him so much as a friend. because he means so much to me like that.

15. Would you call them if they gave you their number?
i do have his number and we call each other.

16.Who is this person?
someone.--didn't i say 7 letters? lol.

number 17 literally broke my heart. coz i've been thinking about that a lot lately and i don't even know how i would handle myself if that day comes. coz it's in like what? 5 months, at least..