this is the way it's been goin down.

okay, so last night i found the craving of cleaning my room. so imagine me at 3:00 in the morning cleaning my room. i guess i did that because i know that if i don't do anything productive, i will just cry in one corner and think about what happened. and im seriously sooo tired of getting hurt, of crying every night, thinking about what i should've and shouldn't have done. so i cleaned my room even though i let my heart melt a little bit.. i was listening to sad songs while cleaning so at least i could get a little mad and i could throw away stuff that i don't like because it reminds me of someone. so i threw away everything that's "brendan". like i threw all of my detroit red wings stuff because i remember we were together that day and he was flirting major with me. that was the day when he made me hold his keys.. so i threw those away. all the stickers, books and pencils. i really feel like moving on. so yeah.

then i got bored again.. so i called jappy. yup si jappy. she was shocked and for the first 3 minutes.. we can't believe we're talking. but it got really cute because we got to talk again after almost a year. or maybe a year and some some months.. then she reminded me of our "5:55". because when i was still in Philippines, i used to always check the clock while we're talking.. and it everytime i'd check it's always 5:55 pm. so well guess what? when i called her.. it was 4:55 here and it was 5:55 there. haha! she reminded me. it was really cute. anyway, so around 5 something, we hung up and i went to bed. I HATE MY DREAM LAST NIGHT. it's retarded. because it was about brendan being all sweet and cute to me.. when i woke up, i was sooooo happy. then i realized how i would never have him.. so i cried.. but just for a little bit.

PLANS FOR TODAY:
go to nessa's house in about an hour and go to downtown with her.. probley get starbucks or something. coz i really want some starbucks. and then we're watching the basketball game. PISTONS vs. BULLS! haha. yeah. im guessing brendan will be watching it too. so whatevs. idk. i don't care anymore, right?