enough is enough

yesterday after school around like 2:30, i hung out with liz and sidney at liz's place. we chillaxed and stuff then sidney left but jason and dion came over. i was dancing like crazy and i was just honestly all over the place. jason left to pick up this kid matt who goes to Rochester High and he's really hott. HAHA.. then at like 7:00, aaron and chris came over and they decided they wanted to watch the last home game of the season of basketball. so we all went to the game and when we got to the school, liz and i forgot to bring money. of course aaron paid for liz.. but what i didn't expect was chris ended up paying for me. haha. i don't even talk to chris in school. i say hi sometimes but not really. so we watched the game.. and of course, Stoney won against Rochester! woot woot. it was like 50-42 or something.. but they did good. and Brendan was "Mr. to the rescue". i texted him last night to tell him that and he laughed it off. hahaha.

so anyway, after the game, we headed to Mcdonald's and apparently, aaron didn't want anything.. so we drove away. then i got thirsty. chris looked at me and he was like

Chris: we were just at Mcdonald's!!
Russel: i don't have money with me!
Chris: i would've paid for you!!
Russel: nooo...

so he ended up driving me to speedway. he bought me a slushie. haha then we drove around and we decided we wanted to park at the parking lot near lifetime coz nobody can see you there doing whatever shit you gotta do. so we parked there and of course aaron and liz kicked us out of the car because they wanted to......... i don't even wanna know what they wanted to do. so chris and i decided to walk around the grass.. but there was like 4 inches of snow and i didn't wanna walk.. so chris carried me on his back and we were just walking around.. and then i got tired. so he walked up to this hill and he let me stand there.. then we talked about me and garrett and how things are going between us. then we decided to head back to the car since it's been a whole like 10 mins. when we were heading back to the car.. i was of course on chris's back again.. and i had to thank him for the night.. so i was like

Russel: hey
Chris: what?
Russel: look at me..

so he looked even though it was hard since i was on his back.. and i kissed him on the cheek. i had the choice to make out with him on the hill if i wanted to because it looked like it was leading to it and i was already on top of him.. like i was holding on to him and he was holding me already. so i could've made out with him but i didn't. and i could've at least kissed him on the lips when he was carrying me BUT I DIDN'T. you know why? because i like garrett that much. i like him tooo much that i could've made out with other guys but i didn't. because i have too much respect for him. and i got mad at the fact that he kissed meghan a week or two before sadie's.. and if i kissed chris, after sadie's.. that'd be wrong. and i don't even like chris liek that. i just kissed him because he was such a gentleman last night and i had to thank him for that.

anyway, they had to take me home so chris drove to my place and while we were at the stoplight, i looked at him and he was just staring at me. and i was like "what?" and he's like "nothingg..." then looked away. I SWEAR TO GOD.. when boys do that.. it just drives me nuts. Steven did the exact same thing when i was in california.. my godd.. when boys stare at you like that... trust me, it feels incredible. but nothing beats garrett's smile. honestly. there are times when i feel like giving up on garrett since he doesn't even give me the time of day.. then i see our sadie's pictures.. and i see his SMILE. and yeah that's just where i fall back inlove with him again. i fall apart. garrett has a killer smile. im not even kidding. he doesn't smile very often, so when he does.. you seriously die because idk.. it's just really cute and idk. I LOVE IT. and it hurts to know that i will never have him.