what a day.

let's start during 2nd hour, meiada told me that someone made a fake myspace of garrett. and this loser honestly don't have a life. they took the time to make a layout for garrett and put a song for the myspace. then, they gave sidney ten million comments. it's insane. and, here's the weirdest part, they have a picture of me and garrett up there. and the picture that they have is my default picture. garrett doesn't have a picture of us up on his myspace and only i have it. my profile is set to private.. meaning.. it has to be one of the people in my friend's list. damn. i really wanna find out who made the myspace. im not mad. i think it's hilarious. you guys should see it. and the link is www.myspace.com/christinaenglish. i mean, wtf?! where'd that come from?? it's sooo crazy. then the picture of us that they have, the caption is "me and the love of my life. no she's not mexican. i love you" i was like whattt??? unbelievable. whoever made this myspace doesn't have a life. the comments they gave sidney were like "my saturn ion broke down. the body kit fell off so now im stuck here at russel's. we're cuddling to keep warm. we're in the middle of the forest. don't ask how i gave u this comment" i was like whatt??? hahahahaha. it was sooo funny. garrett knows about it too. and we're just like, what??

but okay, before 6th hour, garrett came up to me and i was liek "hey remind me that i have to ask u something later." and he like smiled at me and he was like "okay." then after 6th hour, he came up to me

Garrett: so what did you wanna ask?
Russel: let's sit down

so we sat down on the bench and everytime i would try to ask him, i would stutter and shit and i couldn't get it out.. and he was like "just say it" and so finally i told him.

Russel: well.. idk. what are we?
Garrett: uh, idk.. i mean, im not really being into a relationship right now. im not really looking for a girlfriend because i have a lot of things goin on right now. my dad and i aren't in good terms right now and then i have this knee surgery goin and like, i messed up some of my classes last semester.."
Russel: oh.. hmm.. that's okay..

i don't know how i looked like but im pretty positive that i looked sad because i tried to smile but i just couldn't. and i felt my body heat and i was like hot. so idk if i was red and all that infront of him. but whatever. then we stood up and he hugged me and he was liek "so that's all you wanted to talk about?" and i was liek "yeah" then he's liek "so are u just hanging here in school?" and i was liek "no, my friend's taking me home"

honestly speaking, i totally understand him. i know he has a lot of stuff goin on and i know that he's not lying about it. i know that. but idk why im so sad. i guess because i didn't ask if he likes me like that. i don't fuckin know why i didn't. and that's like the most important question. im so mad at me. but you know what? everything would've been okay.. but last night we were both on on aim and i tried to talk to him and he didn't say anything. idk.. whatever.

*this is for the nights when you realized that it would never happen*