mmm righhttt

well like i guess today was fine. ya know?

i talked to garrett about last 4/20 and i thought i did pretty good. to try and pretend that im all better. that i only see him as a friend now. i think i pretty much sent him that vibe alright. but deep inside i was burning soooo much. it was cutting me sooo deep. i was in such pain. and what's worst is i walked with him all the way from the elevator out to the parking lot and we were walking side by side.. and our bodies were touching each others.. it was like sadie's night memories hit me again :( it was painful. i cant handle it. but honestly, what am i supposed to do? :(

we're better off like this though. so i'd rather suffer and be fake friends with him than lose him completely.