senior walk :(

let's start from last night. i bought kelley flowers for today. then i asked kathy to buy me flowers for brendan. so she did and stuff.. then..today.. senior walk.

at around like 10:10 we went outside to the hallways and clapped when the seniors walked by. i was so deeply sad because i saw kelley and we hugged :( then i saw all my other senior friends. i said bye and gave them hugs and stuff. so then, i saw Brendan and i called his name and all he said was "hey" and i was like ummm okay..? so when i went upstairs.. i didnt know that they were still there. so when i saw brendan again, he went to go give me a hug but i was like "noo dont hug me i'll start crying" and he goes and hugs me anyway. so of course i started crying :( oh man.

and last night i told him to stay at home around 2:30-3:00 because he has to. not knowing that im comin over and giving him roses and stuff. so then i went over to his house and thought that he's gone. so i just left the flowers and note on his door and stuff. i left and then a couple of minutes later.. he texted me and this is the whole convo:

Brendan: IM SO SO SO SO SORRY!! I just woke up! i fell asleep in my basement
Russel: You missed it. well just look at your door. not the front one but the other one. by the basketball thing.
Brendan: alright. i feel like shit. i honestly think im going to puke
Russel: ehh.. why?
Brendan: no idea. just about an hour ago my stomach felt like it wanted to be tossed outta my body
Russel: aww that's so random. u seemed fine during the walk. are you like dehydrated or something?
Brendan: i have no idea. i might be but i couldnt tell ya. aww you wrote me a note? can i read it now?
Brendan: THANK YOU SOO MUCH!!!
Russel: NOOOO! you cant. that's why i wanted to give it to you personally. so i could tell you not to read it before grad. haha and i was gonna hug you but i guess not
Brendan: :( im sorry. i wanna read it!!! thanks for the flowers :) they are really sweet.
Russel: haha it's alright. dont read it yet!!! umm sorry that it's pink. it was either that or solid red ones :)

Brendan: and don't lie. you wanted more than just a hug ;)

Russel: Hahahahahhahaha!!! What?! umm i can honestly say no about that one brendan :) dont read the note yett..
Brendan: Whatever haha k well im going to fall back asleep so thank you and i'll talk to you later

awww sooo cute :)

OH NEWS FLASH: im soooooo done with garrett. honestly done. so done. i dont want him anymore. i dont really care about him anymore. nope. im done with him

i guess when ur heart gets really really hurt.. for some reason.. u just become numb :\ you dont feel anything at all anymore. NOTHING. AT ALL.