well

sorry that i need to vent. i mean, i just really have to.

so i was talking to paola a couple of nights ago. it was after brendan left and i cried like no other. so we talked and we talked. she tried to make me feel better by saying all these things "magkikita pa naman kayo eh" and stuff like that.. but at one point she like asked me stuff. one of her questions: "may thing ba kayo?"

um, wala? idk it feels like there's something there but i dont want to entertain it again. i mean, i already did once and well, look at what happened. kaya ayoko na i-entertain again. the feelings will be uncontrollable once na ipasok ko nanaman sa mind ko na "baka" may thing. baka this time around, hindi ko na kayanin. then paola was like "mukhang bagay" i was like uhh what the fuck? i was like "bakit?" and she said "kasi parang may chemistry" :(

how sad kasi everyone thinks that. parang even our teachers in our class.. as in all of our teachers in that class think we'd be good together. pati na nga ung sub namin si mr. flinn eh. whenever we'd see each other in the hallway he'd be like "how's brendan?" umm idk? im not his girlfriend? and all my friends think we'd be good together and stuff. pero how sayang. we never even tried.

well, idk i guess we already "tried" but it really wasnt meant to be? like.. i guess the whole christmas break.. it was our time. trying time. tapos it just failed horribly? ayay. oh well. whatever.

i guess i'll just go up to state and find out, huh?