you're now rockin with the besttt ;)

2009-03-09T23:19:00.000-07:00

after a year

so much has happened, huh? i don't even know where to begin. basically, from the last few posts, here's what's been going on. i was sorta with derek, while with him, i ended up hookin up with travis. prom was alright. i'm just gunna say that i spent too much money on something i didn't really like. graduation happened, and derek and i ended. now travis ended up going to jail and i started liking his friend, dave. dave was my co-worker and i never really liked him until travis left. dave and i were just friends, nothing too big. but he ended up going to jail as well. ashley and sam are my co-workers as well and we became really close over the summer as chelsea and i drifted apart. ashley and i were friends up till december. i started liking this boy that she supposedly "liked" and all hell broke loose. billy and i started dating and i became vulnerable. he became my world for a good two months. i gave everything i could ever give to him and i lost him when he decided to change his mind; leave me and go back to ashley. i have never been so heart broken in my life. i still am, after a month. there are no words to explain how i have felt towards him and how i have hurt because of him. no words could ever explain how i have felt through everything. all i know is, i have never felt like this before. good and bad.

because of billy, i have turned into something new. something i'm not sure if i really like. i know i'm doing this because it makes me happy, even though it goes totally against everything i believe in.

brendan and i are still talking as friends. you could say, friends with benefits. it's supposed to make me happy and keep me occuppied. it is what it is. no strings attached. i do not wanna fall back into it. i hope i dont..

2008-04-12T07:29:00.001-07:00

so what's up?

well well, now that spring break's over.. everybody's stressin over P-R-O-M. yes, prom. it's in like a month so every senior girl is stressin over their dress, the limo, hair && make-up, after-prom, pictures blah blah..

okay well i went out of my way just to get my dress, right? so of course my dress is SOOOO cute. when i ordered it, i thought it was gonna be blue and poofy. last thursday i went and tried on the dress.. they never told me that the dress is "irridescent" so instead of being blue, it's like a purplish bluish color. it's poofy but it's just not what i was expecting. im not gonna say that it's not what i wanted because it's pretty cute. it's just that it was not what i was expecting. i went to the bridal store with mary and steph and the moment steph saw the dress, she freaked out and was like "that looks just like my dress." SWEET. our dresses look VERY VERY similar :( that night i hung out with derek and met his family by the way. i met his parents. OMGG i was sooo nervous. but derek said they really liked me :)

anyway so i came to school yesterday and i was talking to amanda about my dress. i asked her how her dress looks like. apparently, WE HAVE THE SAME EXACT DRESS. different colors but same everything. HOW PERFECT?? shit.

so im like bawling my eyes out because that's like every girl's nightmare. but then i realized there's only so many ways you can make a dress so people will all look the same.. so oh well. im over it now. i mean im still upset but really, it's not all about the dress. im goin to prom with a boy who's crazy about me and i think that's all that matters :)

HOW AM I ASKING DEREK TO PROM?
well since he's a junior, he can't exactly ask me to my prom.. so im gonna ask him to MY prom.

i'm getting a HUGE box and lots and lots of pink balloons. i'm gonna make the balloons look like pigs.. like im gonna put ears and nose and everything. then im putting the balloons in the box and since i already talked to his 5th hour teacher, im gonna put the box infront of the classroom and i'm gonna write on the board

"DEREK, MY MOM SAID I CAN TAKE YOU AS MY DATE WHEN PIGS FLY... open the box"

so when he opens the box.. the pig balloons are gonna fly and it'll hold a banner saying "PROM?" on it :)

aint that cute?? hahahaha YAYYYYYYYYYY im excited!!

im asking him on monday!!

2008-04-06T11:37:00.000-07:00

boyfriend.girlfriend

well haha download that song by c-side. it's pretty fuckin amazing :)

anyway so i was just talking to pao a little earlier and we talked about some things.. it was fun.
i heard some MAJOR gossip but i love it :)

uh so boyfriend.. well i guess im about to get a boyfriend. his name's derek. he's 17 and he goes to my school. he's a junior.. we've been talking for a while now and like back when i was still friends with chelsea, he was talking about asking me out last week. well, we never got to hang out last week so we hung out last friday night and... he didnt ask me out. idk whats up with that but im confused as hell.

but really he is so cute. i think pao is the first one who's at least seen a picture of derek hahaha oh well. he looks really young haha right pao?

anyway, i dont feel like updating. maybe later :) hahaha

2008-03-27T22:58:00.000-07:00

about that.

so about that post before this..

i just think it's so funny how the world works.. how it all works out the way it does. before i found derek.. i had no one. and then after waiting for a while, derek came along and of course.. someone else comes into the picture at the same time. i mean, WHY COULDNT THEY HAVE COME ALONG ON SEPARATE TIMES?!

seriously. i mean, SERIOUSLY.

and the worst part is.. i've become the person that i never wanted to be. i've always said:

"how can guys just hook up with girls and think that there wouldnt be any strings attached? how can you use someone and then just leave them hanging?"

and

"how could anyone even think of cheating on someone? if they want to hook up with other people.. then don't have a girlfriend or a boyfriend"

HOW GREAT, HUH? of course i got in those two situations at the same time. i sure do know how to ruin something great.

i finally found someone who truly likes me for who i am.. someone who likes me with a passion.. someone who is crazy about me.. someone who couldnt sleep because he cant stop thinking about me.. someone who tells me hourly that he misses me and wants to be with me so badly.. someone who tells me that i am beautiful.. someone who tells me that i am special to him.. someone who tells me how much he likes me everyday.. and yet here i am.. i found a reason to hurt him.

yeah maybe i haven't yet.. but of course it will. no matter what i do. no matter how hard i try to state the fact that we STILL are not together.. it will still hurt him.

2008-03-24T20:59:00.000-07:00

:'(

wow. i sure do know how to ruin something good, dont i?

I MISS DEREK!
4 more days and he's back home :)

2008-03-21T11:56:00.000-07:00

oh boy.

yeah, oh boy. the boy's name's derek. omgg i cant even begin explaining how much i like this kid. like im starting to really really like him like A LOT. i swear he's the best thing that's happened to me so far in 08 :)

how did i meet him? well we're both in accounting class and i sit like right next to him. he's so funny and sweet oh my god. im really upset that he's leaving for north carolina for spring break though. that's an entire week of no derek :( but because he's leaving for north carolina for a week, he let me borrow his jacket. i've been wearing it since i got it.

today i was texting him and i told him that i might go to Fraser with Chelsea

Derek: what the hell is in fraser?
Russel: this guy that we work with
Derek: lol threesome
Russel: oh yeah we're so plannin on it
Derek: sarcasm i hope?
Russel: haha yeah dont worry
Derek: i wouldve been jealous

aw he's so cute. AHHH

anyway.. i gotta go. i'll keep you guys updated i promise :)

2008-02-21T14:55:00.001-08:00

OH WOW

what do you know? it's been too long since i last updated my blog.
crazy things have happened. UGHH.. i wish i could just tell you guys everything that's happened for the past couple of months in one post but there's just so much to tell.

sooooo updates, updates. don't worry im gonna touch base on everything. SCHOOL, WORK, FAMILY, FRIENDS, and LOVE LIFE (too bad i dont have one haha)

so let's see..

SCHOOL:
my classes this semester are all blow-off classes.

i have:
1st hour- Guitar
2nd hour- Interior Design
3rd hour- Accounting II
4th hour- Family Relations
5th hour- Peer Tutor
6th hour- Psychology I

so those are my classes and take a good guess which class is the hardest of all? GUITAR. wow, who knew? by the way i have a playing test coming up on monday. SHOOT ME. well anyway, guess who's in my 4th hour? HA garrett. what a surprise. well well enough about him. moving on with life...

WORK:
i now have two jobs. i work at Fitness 19 and it's the best place to work at haha i see all the hottest guys workin out and shit, so haha i love it :) andddd recently i got hired at abercrombie so now i get to work WITH the hottest guys. *cough cough* model materials :) :) :) soo im excited coz i only work on saturdays because those are my only free days but i still get to keep my 30% off discount! amazing!

FAMILY:
constant fighting about spring break. well, im going to Panama City, Florida whether they like it or not so oh well. it's about umm $800.. no idea where im gonna pull that off hahaha but whatevaaaa i'll figure something out.

FRIENDS:
everything's perfect. mary is the bestestestestestestfriend everrrr :] haha who else would skip school with me? HAHA so basically we would just skip school to eat breakfast or eat lunch orrrr go to lifetime and chill at their hottubs! :) perfect! i love us.

LOVELIFE:
nothing, end of story. HAHA justttt kidding. well see, i've moved on from garrett somehow and now someone new came into the picture and well, now he's gone too. jake. my sadie's date. he's cool and all that and i mean i did like him for a little while but then i figured i didnt wanna get too attached because i heard he was trying to get back with his ex-gf and true enough, today i found out they are going back out.

hm, maybe it's just me. i attract the hottest guys in the world and when they're finally this close to me, i tend to drive them away. like for real. brendan, garrett and jake. i got them right? for a little while and then when we're this close to being in a relationship, they pull away. FANTASTIC.

anddd if you're wondering about who the boyfriend was, his name's robin. we went out for a month and then on our one month i broke up with him HAHAHAHA bitch, sorry :]

anyway, long post. maybe i'll update tomorrow after i work or something. KILL ME

2007-08-25T17:58:00.000-07:00

well

sorry that i need to vent. i mean, i just really have to.

so i was talking to paola a couple of nights ago. it was after brendan left and i cried like no other. so we talked and we talked. she tried to make me feel better by saying all these things "magkikita pa naman kayo eh" and stuff like that.. but at one point she like asked me stuff. one of her questions: "may thing ba kayo?"

um, wala? idk it feels like there's something there but i dont want to entertain it again. i mean, i already did once and well, look at what happened. kaya ayoko na i-entertain again. the feelings will be uncontrollable once na ipasok ko nanaman sa mind ko na "baka" may thing. baka this time around, hindi ko na kayanin. then paola was like "mukhang bagay" i was like uhh what the fuck? i was like "bakit?" and she said "kasi parang may chemistry" :(

how sad kasi everyone thinks that. parang even our teachers in our class.. as in all of our teachers in that class think we'd be good together. pati na nga ung sub namin si mr. flinn eh. whenever we'd see each other in the hallway he'd be like "how's brendan?" umm idk? im not his girlfriend? and all my friends think we'd be good together and stuff. pero how sayang. we never even tried.

well, idk i guess we already "tried" but it really wasnt meant to be? like.. i guess the whole christmas break.. it was our time. trying time. tapos it just failed horribly? ayay. oh well. whatever.

i guess i'll just go up to state and find out, huh?

2007-08-23T11:50:00.000-07:00

and because..

i miss you so much!! :( i want you here. i need you here. I MISS YOU SOOOO MUCH IT HURTS :(

2007-08-21T11:21:00.000-07:00

bye brendan :(

i will miss you so much.
i will never forget the smile that you flashed me when i got to your house and the hug that you gave me before i left.

goddddd i miss you already. and it hurts.

maybe i just never admitted it but i fell inlove with you. HARD.

2007-07-24T10:48:00.000-07:00

multiply. divide? no, just multiply.

HAHAHAHAHHA sooo corny. anyway, im thinkin about shutting down this blog since i love multiply more and i can do so many better things there :D

am i right? yes im right.

so tell me if i should or not!

2007-07-20T18:23:00.000-07:00

oh brendan.

so wanna hear the latest?

okay, so i was with jessica and we were driving to DEB's. and then i got a text message. opened it and it was from Brendan. i was shocked balls hahaha so anyway, what did he say?

Brendan: hey i know this is probably really random to you, but thanks for that note! i just read it :)
Russel: Hi who's this?
Brendan: IT'S BRENDAN!
Russel: Oh

and then he didnt reply. i guess i pissed him off HAHAHAHAHAHAAH :]

and no, hell no. of course i knew who it was. but after everything that's happened to us.. i really dont consider us as friends anymore. so i pretended that i didnt know who just texted me but i knew it was him.

so im proud of myself for doing that and i jsut texted him saying "discard the letter" :] i hope he gets what im really trying to tell him

2007-07-16T14:36:00.000-07:00

"for paola carlos"--- REMIIIIXX

so i made a post especially for her.. what do i get? a tagboard saying

russel ann MERCADO pascual

iba na pala nanay ko.
and she forgot how she lost my CD. nagiimbento pa raw ako. hay nako. with paola, u'll never know. crazy

2007-07-15T12:26:00.000-07:00

FOR PAOLA CARLOS!!!!

for the reasons like:

last night i was watching a walk to remember and i remembered paola.. so i grabbed my fone and i almost texted her. forgetting that im in the US and she's in the Phil. i almost texted her saying
"pao, watch mo a walk to remember kamuka mo si mandy moore dito nung grade 6 tayo!"

and because she said:

"russ, mukha akong tanga kasi kamuntik ko nang i-hug ung computer nung nakita kitang online!!!"

i think we miss each other THAT much that i have to make a post especially for her :D

benta talaga our conversation last night. paola, be ready. i have his friendster na!! hahaha :D just kidding. i wont do it if you dont want me to pero i miss you super :)

i miss ung grade 6 tayo, nag heart to heart talk tayo sa lower kiosk malapit sa music room while ms. ethel was playing the piano as our background!! hahaha benta. tapos how you lost my avril lavigne CD. loka ka talaga
tapos how we would spend a year together. literal. kasi pati summer classes.. sabay tayo!! ahahhaha :D i remember you poured toyo sa pants mo one summer after summer school hahaha :D benta talaga.

hay nako pao, we're both crazy and stupid at the same time :D masayaaaaa

i miss youuuu :(

2007-07-14T18:48:00.000-07:00

rewiiindd :)

ha wow. so i went through all of my friends on friendster today and this particular person struck me.

back in AA, as in back in the old days ha.
sooo this kid and i were an issue. as in na-link kami and i have no idea how it started. basta i remember, nung grade 7 ako (sulyap lahi days) na-link kami sa isa't isa. very very hot issue un kasi mejo may problem pa sila nung isang friend ko. kasi they went out. naging sila. so sobrang init ng issue na un. everybody thought i was a fuckin homewrecker.

so idk, while lookin at some of the pictures, i just realized na i shouldve known better. i mean, okay naman xa. pero nung time na may issue kami, i was like the sideline. parang ung friend ko parin ung nasa pedestal. parang ako ung girl na parati nyang tinatawagan and everything. it's like idk.. hindi naman kasi clear what we had pero nakakainis lang, now that i think about it. parang, wtf? im so mad. sobrang the whole thing was just wrong right from the very beginning kasi eh. we started off nung hindi maganda ung relationship nila nung friend ko. so parang ang labas, i was this homewrecker bitch that ruined their fuckin relationship.

idk, sayang but idk. i honestly dont even know what to say. all i can say is.. miss ko lang talaga xa. kasi parang the whole time na may thing ako para saknya, we talked about everything, everyday. parating pag introuble xa or ako, kausap namin isa't isa. tapos parati lang talaga kaming naguusap. it was fun while it lasted. pero whatever. im over it :(

2007-07-13T11:23:00.000-07:00

yeah, what happened?

TUESDAY:
well, monday night, cousins came from la so we spent this ENTIRE day shopping.. kay? see, i dont even know where we went. i think we went to birch run and then spent an hour at the village. i saw kierston working at hollister. hahaha :) it was funny. we hugged then talked and stuff.

WEDNESDAY:
we went to lakeside and the village again. but here's a story. we went to hollister and i spotted this cute guy. so i was talking to my cousins and he walked by and got some shirts that were next to me. my cousins left and there was this chair so i sat there while waiting for them. this guy walked by me and stood at wherever was convinient for us to see each other and tried to "fix" shirts. he was trying to fold shirts that were neatly folded already ;) i know, smooth. so anyway, after 5 minutes, he obviously ran out of things to fold so he just stood there, kept walking and walking and walking at the exact same area for 10 minutes (i counted). IT WAS HILARIOUS. he would walk by me then look, then go away, then go back after 2 seconds. it was really funny. you guys should've seen it. so i was just there reading those hollister magazines while watching him walk and walk and i looked up and i saw him just standing there, staring at me. i freaked out and didn't know what to do so i just smiled and looked straight back down to the magazine. DUMB. (never do that) so i was waiting for him to make a move but he never did. so i was like, damn. fine, i'll be the man. so i decided i would make a move. as soon as i stood up to talk to him, cousins came and told me "we're leaving" goddamnit. i was so mad. so while walking by him, he talked to my cousins and asked if everything's okay. you know? usual things that employees say. then i walked by and he just smiled, looked at me and said "have a nice day" and all i could say back was "you too" AHHH!!!!! after that, i had nessa call the store and stuff. it's crazy. i really wanna find out his name. so next wednesday, nessa and i are gunna come back and stuff for that kid :)

THURSDAY:
we went to greatlakes and went back to the village. then we went to ferndale. so that was cute :)

FRIDAY:
cousins left soooo early this morning and they pulled an all nighter hahaha dammnn

2007-07-09T14:21:00.000-07:00

insecurities

so we all know that im one crazy jealous bitch, right? so ive been really really jealous of this one girl who went to my old school [yes, Assumption]. im not gonna mention any names but well, she's rich, she's smart (according to rumors, she's not anymore), she's pretty and she's tall (the one thing im not ahahahah). so you know, i got really really insecure of her. because of what happened in the past. as in, WAYYYY back then.. we hate each other. well, i dont anymore. i really could care less. i think she feels the same way but we just really dont like each other. so today, i went on my multiply and i uploaded pictures and stuff. you know? the usual. and then i saw her multiply. so i looked and stuff.

WOW she's gained so much weight, it's crazy. hahaha i dont really feel insecure of her anymore. not that im trying to put her down or anything. im just expressing that i wasted like at least 2 years of my life feeling insecure of this girl and i just realized that quite frankly, there's nothing to be insecure about. she's unique and im unique. we all are. so you know? never be insecure. it's a waste of time :)

******
IM INLOVE WITH SUMMER!

i love love love how my summer's goin so far. i havent been home much since summer began. ive been partying a lot and stuff. crazyyyyy :) i love my summer senior year!
can u believe, I will be umm scratch that. I AM a senior chick? hahahah i love it!! :)

so maybe.. just, maybe. i might have a little thing for someone new? ahhh
he's so nice and funny. and nice. and funny. and funny. and did i mention he's funny?

he makes me laugh so much it's crazy.
we've been texting A LOT lately. actually since the day i met him. he's really funny. last night, he was up till 3 in the morning.. and so was i. he asked me to pull an all nighter with him. but he got so into halo that i fell asleep on him hahaha i thought he was sleeping already coz he just stopped texting. then around 5, i got a message and apparently, he was still up then. and then he fell asleep for like an hour. hahaha he's so funny.

ANNNNDDDDD carly has this aww cute cousin :) he's really cute. his name's Skyler. he's a freshman college in U of M and he's so cute :) hahahah she said ive helped her so many times so she'll help me. so i talked to him a few days ago and stuff. it was cute. he's also funny. IM NOT KIDDING.

AHHHH!!! being single's the way to go :) see?

THANK YOU GARRETT for making my life so miserable when i liked you.

you made me r e a l i z e I can do SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU :)

2007-07-07T16:25:00.000-07:00

UPDATE!!!! hahahaha

omggg where to start? i couldnt update because this week, i was up north with liz and her family. i went to traverse city with her and actually her grandparents. so what the hell did we do?

Tuesday: drove for 4 hours to get there. we tried to settle in and then ended up watching a baseball game. let me tell you, if you wanna find cute boys, go to baseball, basketball, football games. those are usually what they watch. oh man, ive never seen so many hott boys in one place ever in my life. there was this fireman who's so fuckin gorgeous and he had hott friends too :) amazing. i would never forget sunburn and suntan :) ahhaha crazy motherfuckin bears :) anddd we saw fireworks after the game.

Wednesday: WE DID NOTHING!! :) hahaah we woke up, ate breakfast, took a shower, went tanning by the lake, took a shower, ate dinner then went to downtown trav to see the fireworks by the bay :) let me tell you, i didnt know fireworks can get so boring. this was umm the 4th time ive seen fireworks in a week. first was last thursday, then the saturday after, then the freworks the night before and then this night. CRAZY. we came home and slept.

Thursday: went shopping to leelanau. it was pretty cool. i was dizzy and i had the WORST cramps of my life but i still went up the sand dune. so i took tylenol thinking it would go away, it didnt. i was up there, tired, hot and my feet were burning because of the hot sand. and i was sooo tired and cramping ahhaha. so when i got down the sand hill, i nearly passed out. believe me, i was so scared. then they thought they'd just treat me ice cream, so we went to moomers and ate ice cream :) yayy me

Friday: our last dayyy!! we just went cherry picking then took the boat out to long beach i think and then we swam there and took pictures. thursday night, someone kept on calling me from 4:00 in the morning till 9:00 so i got scared. oh i didnt get scared coz of that. here's the story:

liz and i would always leave the lights on in the bathroom coz im afraid of the dark, so then i wake up at 4:00 in the morning and the lights were off and then i checked my fone and someone was calling me.. when i looked at the screen it was "unknown number". SO HOW SCARED WAS I?? then the creep called from 4:00 till 9:00 that morning. i was panicking so i texted my dad and told him to call tmobile and ask if they could block the number. they cant. and then when i asked liz the next morning if she turned the lights off she said "yeah. oh shit babe. sorry. i forgot ur scared of the dark" and then today, i found out that cody was the creeper. HAHAHAHAH crazy cody.

Saturday: we're homeee :) yayy :) im happy. i was sooo homesick. i swear.

so that's the story.

2007-07-01T16:25:00.000-07:00

emily's lakehouse party :)

around 4:00 yesterday, heather and i left and went to lake orion for emily's 4th of july party. so we got there and guess who was the first person i saw? kelly, dana and kirsten. honestly like, i dont have a problem with kirsten but i really just dont like dana and kelly. but whatever.

i met this kid colin and this kid steve and they're soo cute. i didnt swim but i ate like a shitload of food im not even kidding. we watched the fireworks around 10:00 then heather and i left around 10:30. it was fun :)

2007-06-28T23:01:00.000-07:00

i just really would like to knoww

why is it that every single time that I think we’re finally okay, everything fuckin falls apart again? everytime I try to make it seem like everything’s great, everything’s finally all better, I hear another story that never fails to break my heart all over again. I am soooo sick and tired of it, honestly.

I am truly glad that I have friends who I can confide my problems with. I am so happy that I have these friends that always supports me and have my back literally 24/7.

Tonight was fun except for that little interesting story but other than that, I had such an amazing time with my friends and of course, I had the best time with emily babbii :) i honestly probably wouldve never survived this night without her. don’t know what I would do without herr :)

"love is never having to say you're sorry"

2007-06-23T21:32:00.000-07:00

sa saaaahh :]

yesterday while i was resting my back because i dove wrong in stephanie's pool, vanessa called me and asked me if i wanted to go to a cotillion with her. i asked my dad if i could and he said yes. so i called vanessa again and i told her i'll go with her.

so today around 3:00 nessa picked me up. we went to kohl's and got her a dress because she didnt like any of her old dresses. so we shopped and then we went back to her house. we got to her house around 4:00, yeah.. went shopping for an hour. gosh. so i did my hair and make up.. and then nessa's. and then jennifer's. hahaha :] wow im suchhh a make up artist :]

we left the house around 6:15 then we got to the hotel around 6:58.. then of course, the party started around 8:00 when it's supposed to start at 7:00. so we partied and stuff. it wasnt really that fun. it was like lots of old people.. only few kids attended. so the party was supposed to end at around 12:00 but we left around 10:00 becuase it was sooo boring.

and i just got home. so im gonna go to bed noww :]
bye guys.

2007-06-21T21:28:00.000-07:00

swimming at stephy's house

so around 5:00 today, stephanie called me and told me that she's on her way to pick me up. of course she spent 30 minutes looking for my house. everytime im in a car with her, i feel like im gonna die any second hahah :] so we went to her house and we ate burgers and stuff. her pool's pretty huge. it was from 3- 12 feet. it was amazing since it was warm :] of course they have a heater :]

hm after that, i pretty much tried on her clothes since we're like the same size. i tried two dresses and one skirt. i really liked the black skirt since it's a good clubbing skirt. NO JOKE. im not even kidding. it's soooo cute :] i can really honestly party with it :] yay meee :]

so yeah that's it. i dont know what else to say. oh by the way, they got a frog while swimming. scared the shit out of me :/

2007-06-20T21:32:00.000-07:00

5th day of summerrr :]

haa okay so it's only the 5th day of the summer and ive already learned something that will be TOTALLY helpful for me all throughout the summer :]

"when you're too drunk to remember, then it's not cheating. because when you cant remember anything, then it never really happened"

soo perfect for the summer, aint it? hm. i knoww right?

well today i pretty much had my alarm set for 10:20 and i think because the radio's on, i wasnt able to wake up. holy fucker. so i woke up at 11:20 instead. so then ya know.. i got ready in an hour and nessa picked me up. i cant believe that i just left the house without even saying anything to my dad. i didnt ask for permission whatsoever. i just left. so i went to the dentist with her and then we ate lunch. we were supposed to go to Abercrombie at The Village. but jennifer called and asked us if we could go back to her house and watch Jaiden because she has to take a shower. so we left and went home. and pretty much we just spent the whole day talking and watching The Simple Life :] it's craaaazyy and i LOVE it :]

another news:
i took this picture with vanessa at lifetime and it's up on vanessa's myspace. so today nessa told me that apparently kristen went on her myspace and gave it a comment and said something like

"YOU look gorgeous hun :)"-- or something else dumb like that. but vanessa accidentaly deleted it.

notice how she emphasized the YOU. which would mean i'm not.
so today, i went on vanessa's myspace and i gave it a comment. of course my comment had to RULE the page since it's our picture :] it goes something like this:

"we're sooo sexyy fat chicks are jealous. namely, kristen valderama"

mmm :) i love it. dont you? i love love LOVEEE it :)

i play diiirtty :] and i dont care since shes leaving michigan anyway. she's goin back to california. i mean, really. good for her. so she can have all those other skinny giirls bitch at her again on how fat and ugly she is.---see, i wouldnt be this mean to her if she didnt start it all. so i guess im stooping down her level but i really honestly, DONT CARE.

"loves it" haha oh i love paris :]

2007-06-19T12:50:00.000-07:00

sara's lakehouse party :)

at around 2:30 yesterday, nathan and lauren picked me up and we went to sara's party. the party starts at 3:00 and it takes 30 minutes to drive out there so we had to leave at 2:30. when i got to sara's house.. it was literally like stabbing me in the heart. everything from sadie's night came back. sara's house is where we ate dinner and took pictures that night. so when i went in her house.. i saw the chair where we ate, the living room where we took pictures and pretty much everything else :/ it was sooo hard for me.

but i set that one aside and i enjoyed being with my friends. the last time i saw chelsea was around that time.. so i saw her again yesterday and we pretty much bonded the whole day. we were swimming, rode the jetski, laid out (some needed to tan really bad), rode the boat, went tubing, rode the speedboat. so all that kinda stuff.. so while out on the lake.. guess who i saw? Karl, Derek, Nick and some other guys that i couldnt really see the faces. so what the hell? i didnt think i would see them there.. and oh.. when we were swimming.. guess who we saw? this kid Sean who goes to Rochester. he was at Melanie's party at Club Sevin and he knows kierston too. to my surprise... chelsea knew him. and well.. i knew him too. what a fuckin small world. so we were flirting with them and stuff. it was a bunch of girls with a bunch of guys. it's just natural to flirt and shit :]

so after we did all those activities.. we back to their house and chilled out on the patio. then when it got really really dark which was around 10:00, we decided to do the bonfire. they roasted mallows and stuff. some were making smores. chelsea and i just sat there on the patio. of course i stole the whole chunk of hershey's chocolate bar and just ate it with chelsea haha :] it was funn :] oh and btw, garrett liked chelsea. i mean.. i know him well enough and during sadie's night.. he for sure wanted to hook up with chels haha but ya know.. chelsea and i loveee each other :]

so it was a pretty funn night except liz created a bit of a drama. whatever. i didnt really bother. she's in england right now and i hope she's having a good time. i dont know if im still gonna go up north with her and her family. i really want to but i hope we fix things between us first before we go. oh lovee :)

**if i dont update too often.. i just dont have time to. it's summer. im always out :)

2007-06-15T14:07:00.000-07:00

summer oh-sev!! :)

wow finally. so after a million years of not updating.. im updating.

holy shit. what happened? so yeah. sidney likes me and we got in a HUGE fight because of it. i dont really want to elaborate. but it was just pretty much because he tried to hurt me and bash on how stupid i am for liking garrett the whole first hour in school just because he likes me and i dont like him back. instead, i like his friend. so that was that. we solved it anyway.

so i have NOT talked to garrett since that day that sidney and i fought. since he was kind of the reason why sidney and i started fighting. hm. so we solved that and i guess sidney still likes me. but umm.. today was the last day of school and it was pretty fun. it was amazing.

I GOT SOOOO TAN :) :) :)

im definitely dark. i went to lifetime fitness yesterday and i went outside and tanned :) sooo that was great. hm. kristen and i are in a fight and kierston, courtney and all of them are on my side. we all hate her. :) she starts MAJOR drama. hm. you're cool.

so i dont really feel like typing everything that happened this week. but yeah. i should get goin :) bye lovess

2007-06-06T19:55:00.000-07:00

suchh a good day :)

so today was a good day. omg amazing day with garrett. but when i was hugging sidney and we were pulling the whole us going out so neeko would think we are, garrett was behind us and i felt someone poke my side. i looked over and i was liek "who was that?" and i saw garrett and i was liek "was that garrett?" and sidney said yeah. and he was the only one there anyway. and while he was walking to his locker.. i was still hugging sidney, and he looked over. i was like awww :) soo that was a good day.

BIG NEWS: sidney likes me..? ha i know. insane. i would tell u guys the conversation tomorrow when i have my fone. coz right now mr. hamka has it.

graduation day today. i saw brendan walk eee.. :/ said my final bye bye to people. yupp.

gotta go to bed!!

2007-06-01T12:43:00.000-07:00

oh my god. such a gooood dayy :)

well i can barely remember what happened today but i swear i can definitely remember the last part :)

today after school.. i was talking to Jared whose locker is like right next to garrett's. then emily was also there talking to other people.. so i talked to both of them. then garrett came and i said hi. it was just really cute. we looked dumb but i like told him about my little car accident story and his face got all cute and concerned :) it was cute.. he was also like "oh was it that white jeep commander one?" and i was like "yeah". i asked him if he saw us and he's like "well i remember looking at someone's bulletin and seeing the car"
then emily asked me what color his eyes are. so he was like about to leave i think and i called him over.. so he came over and he was jsut like waiting for me to say something. and i was just like looking at him and smiling. so was emily. and we literally all looked stupid. so finally after hearing a million "what?" from him, i was liek "alright. bye" ahhaha and we all just started laughing! hahahah it was hilarious. then we like turned away but still laughing.. and idk why i did but i called him over and i was like "garrett!!" and then he came back and i went to hug him :) :) :) it was soooooooooo cute.

that just made my day right there :) oh mannn :)

**afternoon part:
so i thought that was the end of that. but like around 5:00, lauren came over and she told me that she wanted to smoke some weed. and that cory was gonna give her some. so i asked her if she wanted me to get some for her from garrett. she said cory's getting it for her already. so i told her that i just wanna call garrett to ask aka so i could talk to him. so i did. i called garrett and he didnt pick up; like always. he never picks up my calls or texts. so then i was all like devastated and shit.. but oh no wait.. he called me back! i didnt even know that my fone was like ringing. i just picked that up. then i saw his picture and like his name on the screen.. like flashing. so i picked up the call and we talked for a bit about that stuff. and i was like

Russel: do u have some with u right now?
Garrett: haha uh what if i did?
Russel: well my friend's kinda looking for some and i was just wondering if u had some with u or not
Garrett: well yeah i do but im at my dad's right now
Russel: oh alright. well i guess we'll just go get some from someone else.

and we like said more stuff. but that's pretty much like the summary of it :) hahaha

SUCHHHH A GOOD DAYY :)

2007-05-29T14:27:00.000-07:00

to settle all the rumors. here's what happened

saturday night heather, bobby, liz, zach, richard s, richard d, kyle and i decided to go see Pirates of the Caribbean 3. we went to amc 30and watched it. it was alright. didnt like it as much as shrek 3 though :) ahhaha anyway, we went to tacobell after that and after tacobell, we decided to go home.

were we dickin around the whole night? yes. at the parking lot of amc, bobby pulled the e-break already so i almost died then. half of my body flew to the first row. but then, when we were leaving taco bell, bobby pulled another drift. he drifted at the parking lot. sooooo i decided to wear my seatbelt.

ON THE WAY HOME on John R. Rd, bobby was driving still and he took his hands off the wheels. heather grabbed it and swerved it from side to side. the first time she did it, we all were okay.. second time.. we ended up goin in that ditch and flipping the car around. the car was upside down. it was literally upside down.

i swear something/someone was with us that night because im surprised that no one was badly injured. i mean, i have bruises all over my body which are pretty bad but other than that.. no one's hurt. and im thankful that i wore my seatbelt because honestly i HATE wearing seatbelts.

so a lesson to all:

WEAR YOUR SEATBELTS

they save lives.

2007-05-26T11:46:00.000-07:00

thanks pao :)

omg yesterday in 5th hour.. i got really really surprised. i wasnt even paying attention when the door swung open and guess who was standing there? Brendan. oh. i swear i had a different feeling. suddenly i had butterflies in my stomach. hahha but i think it was just because of what i did the day before. omg my heart was seriously ecstatic. but it was only for a couple of minutes. he gave my teacher his project then said hi and left :) it was funny.

i was walking down the E-wing and guess who was walking behind me and heather? Garrett. but you know what's even funnier? we didnt say anything to each other. like, nothing at all. and i think he got in trouble..? ha idk. he was talkin to ms. casaza so idk :) hahaha

so about my headline. i was talking to pao a few days ago and i was telling her how much i like garrett and stuff. and she said something that probley bitchslapped me to reality.

"i have a life to live"

it's so true. i have a life to live and i cant do this anymore. i have more to come for me. if i get stuck in this drama with him when he doesnt even care and i know fully well that it's not gonna happen, then nothing's gonna happen to me. im just glad that it happened. because of him i learned lots and lots of things. im glad that it happened because he made me feel things i've never felt before and i really really appreciate that..

and yeah it's true. when you love someone so so much and then you get hurt so so badly that your heart gets ripped like no other.. you become numb. you dont feel anything.

now, im just tired. i dont think im ready to like someone again THAT much right now. i pretty much gave EVERYTHING to garrett.. and for my heart to get ripped just like that and that badly.. i dont think im ready to anytime soon.

so for now.. im gonna be single and have no attachments :) it's fun when ur just single. especially during the summer ;)

well here's a quote for me and you babbiieesss :)

"things happen for a reason. tears will eventually fade and one day everything will be exactly how it's supposed to be. moving on is a process && you have to promise yourself that you're really ready to let go :)"

2007-05-24T13:46:00.000-07:00

senior walk :(

let's start from last night. i bought kelley flowers for today. then i asked kathy to buy me flowers for brendan. so she did and stuff.. then..today.. senior walk.

at around like 10:10 we went outside to the hallways and clapped when the seniors walked by. i was so deeply sad because i saw kelley and we hugged :( then i saw all my other senior friends. i said bye and gave them hugs and stuff. so then, i saw Brendan and i called his name and all he said was "hey" and i was like ummm okay..? so when i went upstairs.. i didnt know that they were still there. so when i saw brendan again, he went to go give me a hug but i was like "noo dont hug me i'll start crying" and he goes and hugs me anyway. so of course i started crying :( oh man.

and last night i told him to stay at home around 2:30-3:00 because he has to. not knowing that im comin over and giving him roses and stuff. so then i went over to his house and thought that he's gone. so i just left the flowers and note on his door and stuff. i left and then a couple of minutes later.. he texted me and this is the whole convo:

Brendan: IM SO SO SO SO SORRY!! I just woke up! i fell asleep in my basement
Russel: You missed it. well just look at your door. not the front one but the other one. by the basketball thing.
Brendan: alright. i feel like shit. i honestly think im going to puke
Russel: ehh.. why?
Brendan: no idea. just about an hour ago my stomach felt like it wanted to be tossed outta my body
Russel: aww that's so random. u seemed fine during the walk. are you like dehydrated or something?
Brendan: i have no idea. i might be but i couldnt tell ya. aww you wrote me a note? can i read it now?
Brendan: THANK YOU SOO MUCH!!!
Russel: NOOOO! you cant. that's why i wanted to give it to you personally. so i could tell you not to read it before grad. haha and i was gonna hug you but i guess not
Brendan: :( im sorry. i wanna read it!!! thanks for the flowers :) they are really sweet.
Russel: haha it's alright. dont read it yet!!! umm sorry that it's pink. it was either that or solid red ones :)

Brendan: and don't lie. you wanted more than just a hug ;)

Russel: Hahahahahhahaha!!! What?! umm i can honestly say no about that one brendan :) dont read the note yett..
Brendan: Whatever haha k well im going to fall back asleep so thank you and i'll talk to you later

awww sooo cute :)

OH NEWS FLASH: im soooooo done with garrett. honestly done. so done. i dont want him anymore. i dont really care about him anymore. nope. im done with him

i guess when ur heart gets really really hurt.. for some reason.. u just become numb :\ you dont feel anything at all anymore. NOTHING. AT ALL.

2007-05-23T16:38:00.000-07:00

seniors last day

today was the last day of our seniors :( today was Dave's last day :( so is Brendan's :( how horrible :\

anyway, after 6th hour today, the Seniors were just all yelling and shouting "OH-SEV!" constantly. it was amazing.

so this time next year- I'm leaving the school. wow. senior year will go by wayyyy too fast. but junior year also went by fast.. soo.

TOMORROW: SENIOR WALK

how painful is tomorrow gonna be for me? right. yeah, i mean ya know.. when i see Brendan, Kelly, Matt, Andrew, Dave, Carlene, Chris, Stephanie and all those other senior people that i know say bye :( i seriously, honestly would die :( i probably would bawl my eyes out tomorrow :( godddd :\

2007-05-22T12:32:00.000-07:00

your favorite giiirrrl<333

today was an okay day i guess. hmm i pretty much dont remember half of what happened today.

but alright. let's see, i survived my choir test. it was horrible. oh.. i just kinda wanna throw this one in. i definitely had the hottest substitute yesterday for gym. OH MY GOD. yesterday was def one of those days when you really really want to go and stay in gym class forever. he was sooooo hott.

HIGHLIGHT OF TODAY:
i was definitely goin up the stairs today by myself after school.. and Brendan was walking down. again, it was only just the two of us.. so he decides to say hi to me. his way of saying hi would be whipping me with his car keys. so he whipped his car keys towards me and i moved away and i didnt even say hi. so he goes "fine. don't even say hi to me". you know what i did? I DIDN'T SAY A WORD TO HIM. didn't even look back at him :) and deep inside me, i was like "well now you know how i feel, bitch." HA after that.. i felt soooo much better. lately he's been a royal dick to me. so it's my turn now :)

that felt really really good :)
and again, sidney and i hugged each other for a long ass time :) it was great.

2007-05-21T20:02:00.000-07:00

oh day :]

so today was a pretty fun day for some reason :)

Dave signed my yearbook. oh my god. amazing. he wrote:

"Hey whats up, i had a fun time in econ with you. it was nice sitting next to you. i hope you had a fun junior year. just remember to enjoy next year cause it goes by way too fast. good luck with getting your solstice but be careful, it's faster than it looks. have fun with high school and good luck in the future! Peace, Dave"

he wrote such a long letter on my yearbook. i think it's even longer than garrett's. wow.

anyway, today matt and i saw each other. oh man. we didnt say hi to each other or anything like that. it was pretty awkward. plus, what the hell are we supposed to say to each other? "oh, hey you! i hooked up with you at that club that one time.. when you were drunk" what? you dont just go up to someone and say that.. so we decided to just ignore each other :) cool.

i also talked to sidney.. we hugged for the longest time today. he hasnt given me that long ass hug EVER. but im glad we did today..

i also talked to garrett today. pretty funny.

and then.. i met mike andrews today.. and brian schnurr last week. it was funny.

anyway, i gotta go sleep :)

2007-05-19T23:09:00.000-07:00

HA pregnancy test

so lately, since i almost got confined at Crittenton Hospital nights ago for dehydration, virus and too much stress.. i've been feeling really really tired. and im always dizzy and nauseaus. so anyway, today, i was feeling dizzy and stuff so i had to lay back down. my dad comes in my room and sits right next to me and goes

Dad: i have a question to ask you
Me: uh, okay?
Dad: when was the last time u had your period?
Me: like.. now? im on my period. now.
Dad: when was the last time before this?
Me: like three weeks ago? i dont know. when i went to Chicago. why?
Dad: i dont know. it's just weird. are you pregnant

OH I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD.

Me: what?! why?!
Dad: well you've been showing signs of it. you're always dizzy, nauseaus and tired.

I LAUGHED EVEN HARDER. HE'S RIGHT. SIGNS OF PREGNANCY.

Me: HA im definitely not.
Dad: okay. well they wouldnt do pregnancy test on you at the hospital unless you ask for it you know?
Me: so you want me to take a pregnancy test?
Dad: yeah.
Me: alright i'll do it. im not pregnant dad.

so wow. he thinks im pregnant. but you know what's funnier? im actually showing signs of pregnancy. but i think it's hilarious that all of those sickness that im showing are signs of pregnancy. coz you know what? i definitely should be the last one he should be talking to about pregnancy. i am like one of the few girls in our school who hasnt done it yet. who still has her V-CARD, thank you very much.

i just think it's seriously hilarious.
so i'll be taking a pregnancy test. WOW.

2007-05-18T12:45:00.000-07:00

troubleee

so two days ago.. while singing on stage at the choir concert.. i collapsed. well, almost. i didnt feel good while we were singing up there.. so in the middle of the song, i walked off the stage. but i still didn't feel good.. so i called my mom to pick me up and told her to bring me to the hospital. i went to the hospital and stayed there from 8:30- 12:30 at night. they told me that im dehydrated, and that im developing a virus in my body and that im "too stressed out". hmm well gee i wonder why.

then yesterday, i slept through another day :) and then it was senior's prom night

today, it was senior skip day and the school was sooo quiet without them. trust me. and today was a bad day :(

2007-05-16T13:08:00.000-07:00

oh yearbooks :)

so we def got our yearbooks this week. like, monday. anyway, i got mine yesterday, tuesday. so people have already signed it and stuff.. then same thing today.

every single person who signed my yearbook def wrote something about Garrett. oh my fucking god. what they didnt know is.. after they all signed.. Garrett was gonna sign it. everyone signed it first.. then garrett signed it last because he wanted to sign it during 6th hour. OH let me tell you.. i didnt know what the fuck to do. i swear when i read everything that they said.. i was horrified. i didnt know how to give it to him because his name's all over it!! oh man.

but anyway, i ended up giving it to him. and guess where he signed? oh of course he signed on that part where you can def see a million "garrett"s. holy shit. i guess it was his way of telling me that he's seen it. dammit.. but this is what he had so say:

"Russel, This year has been really great, I'm glad we met and are friends. Sadies was a lot of fun and I hope you have a great summer, Maybe we'll chill sometime, if not then I'll see you next year. -Garrett K.-"

oh man.. i was so scared to read that shit. i thought he was just gonna write "hey, have a great summer- Garrett" hahahahaha but no. he wrote more :) YAY. at least.

so how proud are u guys of me?!?!? i got my math quiz back and guess what i got?! 19/21!! oh man. 90% yay!!

2007-05-11T18:05:00.000-07:00

hmmm. you're cool :)

yesterday all i did since i got home was to sleep :) it was funnn.
i forgot to do all of my homework and i just slept through the day :) im tired. leave me alone.
while in the middle of a conversation with emily btaggz (a different emily), she just randomly told me

Emily: oh. he just checked you out.
Russel: what?? garrett?! how?!
Emily: he was just kinda like looking at you.. from your head.. then all the way down.

i was so happy like no other.

so then i got home and as i have said.. i slept through the day and guess what? at around 10:13 pm.. guess who called me? MY VERY OWN KYLA OLIVES! :) i talked to her and luisa for about 3 hours on the fone. it seemed soooo short. seriously. we got the chance to catch up with things and stuff like that. it was sooo much fun. 3 hours wasnt enough but it was already 1:00 in the morning and it was a thursday night. kyla had to take a shower and i had to sleep because i still had to wake up 4 hours later :) it was greattt. i really really miss her. and luisa as well. if only i can talk to the whole "chicklets" like that. it'd be priceless.

******
todayy

today was a crazy day. honestly.
what crazy things did i do?
hmmm.. i'll tell you what.

we all know that juniors arent supposed to go out to lunch, right? well today, i did anyway. and you know what's funny? i was with liz and lauren.. and not one of us have our license. liz and i only have our permit and lauren doesnt even have anything. butttt... she drove!! and whose car did we use? cody's. cody doesnt know that we took his car. but seriously guys.. we could've gotten in so much trouble because first, we werent suppose to leave school because we're only juniors and only seniors are allowed to go out to lunch.. second, none of us have our license.. and lauren doesnt even have anything for her to be driving! damnn. and when we got to speedway, i even saw brendan there. crazyyy.

then while i was out at the parking lot, guess what i did? yupp.. i did something sooo pathetic beyond belief. cody's car was parked right across garrett's.. so i decided to take a picture of his car because i miss it soooooo sooooo much :( pathetic, right? hmm.. greatt.

and oh. i talked to all of my ex-crushes this year? i talked to Jon (homecoming date), Karl and Brendan. but you know what's funny? i talked to all of them but i didnt even talk to garrett :(

well today with garrett was kinda fun. he kinda tried to talk to me today but i didnt want to. (even though kyla and everyone else is telling me to talk to him :\)

HELPPPP!

--oh and i saw matt today. pretty awkwarddd

2007-05-09T13:47:00.000-07:00

i try to get you outta my system

today was a good day.. kinda. sorta.

mmm so i deff was like a mute person today in school. i literally lost my voice. i was talking but nothing was coming out of my mouth :/ that was sad. so anyway, neeko gave me a nickname.. what is it? hmmm.. "GARRETT". she decided she would call me garrett until my real voice comes back because i apparently sound like a man. and when i really try to sound like a dude, i would lower my voice and OH LORD. i swear i really sound like garrett. and he has a really REALLY deep and super low voice. so that's the reason why neeko's calling me garrett. and then before 4th hour today.. all three of them (neeko, steph and mary) decided to call garrett over to the locker area.

Mary: garrett! russel sounds like a man!
Garrett was laughing and goes
Garrett: HA when does she not sound like a man??

then he looked up to me and started laughing and i just stood there.. shocked by his joke.
then he also made fun of neeko. hahahah :] he's a fuckinn dickk :] but i loveeee the boy :p

then we all walked downstairs to the caf and we all talked and stuff.. it was pretty fun :]

i had a fun day. kinda :]

2007-05-08T17:00:00.000-07:00

what's uppp?

so
thursday- i went clubbing, made out with someone and was a slut for the nightt
friday- i chilled at home :]
saturday- i went to my dad's workplace with my mom and went shopping for a lil bit
sunday- i dont remember what i did :]
monday- sick

and of course today, im still sick. last time i got sick, it was before sadie's :( i swear i really wanna rewind to the time when it was just sadie's :/

i miss him. i want him.

2007-05-04T20:41:00.000-07:00

clubbin

what happened yesterday?

at around 7:30, my parents left and i snuck Carly in at my house. she told her parents that she was sleeping over at my place when really, she was sleeping over at Dale's house. i helped her get away with it. i told her that she can tell her parents she's sleeping over at my house and i'll just take her to dale's house which is like down the street from me.

it was crazy when she got here..

so cody picked me up at around 8:00 and we went to liz's house and picked her up. we followed tony and aaron to pontiac where the club's at.

PARTY SCENE:
i got there at the club and guess who i first saw? Brendan. i was shocked beyond belief. although the party was an open-invite, i didnt know that he would go to Melanie's party. who was he with? Sam. and of course he was a dick like always. so i danced with tony since we promised each other that we have to dance with each other. after some time of dancing, i thought he should dance with other girls coz that's what he wanted to do for his first clubbing. so i told him to look around for girls :)

while i was dancing with liz, cody, aaron and katie, this guy walked up behind me and asked me if i wanted to dance. i didnt think he was cute or anything like that but all of them thought that he was. so i just danced with him. i swear he was raping me on the dancefloor. he had like moves that were unexplainable beyond belief and seriously i was just laughing the whole time. he tried to make out with me but i didnt want to. so i just kept on looking the other way. finally after probley like 30 mins of dancing, i got tired so i told him im gonna go get a drink. after that, we just parted ways. seriously i was RELIEVED.

i went looking for liz and cody and i found them chillin on the couch. so i went there and i sat right next to them. i stretched my legs because they were like dead already. i was sooo tired of dancing. then this guy came in to the room with us and sat right next to me. he goes "hey guys what's goin on in here?" then he faces me and goes "hi my name's matt. what's yours?" and liz came up to me and told me that matt's drunk because he's in liz's 5th hour and he's usually not that friendly. but while liz was attempting to tell me that, we banged heads and it was just the funniest thing that night. so matt ended up asking me to dance. so we danced and danced and danced.. he was trying to make out with me. and at first i didnt feel like it. but i was like "fuck this. it's a party" so he pulled me to the side and made out with me. we danced and he tried to carry me and while i was on him, we made out again. we made out so many times that night.. i lost track counting. he also gave me 2 hickeys on my neck. and i didnt even saw it until i got to my room that night. i swear we were having dry sex on the dancefloor. he was all over me. and there was this small bed kind of on the side and while i was on him and while we were making out.. he walked up to the bed and laid there. so well, i was on top of him. and his friends saw that.. so they started shaking the bed. it was soooo awkward and sooo funny. then i decided to get off of him so we were laying right next to each other.. and making out. after that, we decided to go back to the dancefloor and we made out again. he even asked me to go on stage with him and dance with him. it was fun considering at one point i was sandwiched by two guys. crazy.

so that night was sure fun. crazy things happened.

i became a slut that's for sure.
he's a senior in my school by the way. and apparently he's popular and he's goin to prom with kristin. greatttt. i swear rumors are gonna come flying come monday.

2007-05-03T13:00:00.000-07:00

god im a bitch :)

after 2 days of happiness, yesterday was a bit of a down point for me.
i lost my gym clothes. damnn.. seriously people. it wouldnt fit you anyway!! i am super fuckin tiny. although it was just from American Eagle and Aeropostale.. those clothes were really really comfortable :( i miss it :(

then garrett was just ehh.

today, same thing with garrett. we didnt talk. which im kinda proud of :)

tonight i will be clubbin with people for melanie's party. melanie rented the club and she invited lots of people :) she's Fil-Am by the way. she's like one of the very first people i met when i was new here at SCHS. she's like extremely rich too. and her brother's friends with my brother. crazy.

soooooo i'll be out and about guys :]

PARTY TIME BABBIIIEESSS :)

2007-05-01T16:53:00.000-07:00

two good days :]

yesterday was suchhhh a good day. it was sooooo nice outside because of the perfect perfect perfect weather :] and then i was just having a good day until my 5th hr. my math teacher gave us our quizzes back and i passed it!! i was soooo happy. i got a higher grade than this kid who's really smart. oh my god it made my day soooo much better. then before i left school yesterday, garrett was waiting for the elevator.. and i walked by. i was actually gonna talk to him but i didnt. i stopped myself. instead, when i walked by, he nodded his headwhen he saw me to say hi and i just nodded back :] i didnt talk to him whatsoever and i was so proud of myself because i didnt talk to him :] it made me feel superior. i dont know why. :]

today, garrett and i talked A MILLION TIMES. we had the award of excellence assembly and it was okay. when it got done, we all had to walk back to our locker area. so it was like me, steph and mary walking altogether.. and then it was garrett, sidney and mark walking altogether. at first i didnt notice them.. but then i saw them walking behind us.. so i was like uhhmmmm.... but the funny thing was.. sidney and mary were walking right next to each other and they didnt even realize it! it was the funniest thing. after all that happened sadie's night.. they started hating each other and they havent like talked since :] HAHAHAHAHA :]

then when we got upstairs.. neeko was talking to garrett. neeko was smiling at me so i came over to them and all i did was slap neeko's ass then i left :] haha then she called me over again. so i had to go back to where they were talking.. and u know what neeko did? SHE LEFT! she left just the two of us talking. just me and him. me and garrett. i felt like i was really red and steam's like coming off me. and i was shaking.. why was i shaking??

but then after like 5th hour.. garrett tried to talk to me but i didnt talk to him :] hehehe :] he was just wearing a shirt today and i didnt get to hug him although i really wanted to :[ i was sooooo sad. because if you guys can remember.. the very first time i hugged him, i already felt his abs when my arms wrapped around him. and when i first hugged him, i havent even seen his myspace pics yet with his body. so seriously.. he has a really hot body :] mmmm :]
and i wanted to hug him so bad today :[ really sad.

oh well. LIFE IS GOOD :]

2007-04-29T11:53:00.000-07:00

a message...

so friday i went to school in my brother's basketball shorts and a hollister shirt. it was amazing how so many people were giving me comments like "nice outfit" or "cute shorts" hahaha. it was also funny when i came upstairs to the locker area and neeko was smiling and she's like "aww you wearing brendan's shorts?" and i was like "uhh noooo. this would not fit brendan at all. it barely fits me" hahaha :]

saturday: i went to chicago with parents and brother. drove halfway there :] it was amazing :] and we saw my dad's dying friend. she's been my dad's friend even before i was born. so ive known her pretty much my whole life. and when i came here to the US, she was with us. so we havent seen each other for like 2 years now. so when i saw her yesterday, i was really shocked because she looked soooo different. i felt really bad. let's just all pray for her. that'd really help.

and when i came home from chicago.. all my friends were at mary's hotel party. so at 2:00 in the morning i decided to stop by since we just got home from chicago. mary had no idea that i was coming. so i asked steph to come pick me up from the lobby and from there we went to the emergency exit coz that's where they were chillin at. so i came in and she said hi to me. after a few minutes, she realized that i wasnt supposed to be there.. so she freaked out and she was yelling and screaming at the top of her lungs and she was hugging me and shit :] it was soooooo hilarious. then we talked for a little bit and like i guess after 20 mins. or so.. i decided i had to leave. so everyone brought me back to the front. buttttttt of course.. my friends had to do a little fuckin twist just like always. they decided to race all the way from the emergency exit (which was the far end of the bulding) to the lobby. which was like the other end. so mary, daniella and steph all raced.. steph and daniella lead the way and unbelievably, while running.. steph decided to look behind her and there was a door infront of her. so aka.. she missed the door and slammed herself into it. HAHAHAHAH it was hilarious. i guess she fuckin forgot how to open a door. so when i came out of the hotel.. we were all laughing and shit. :] it was amazingly funnn :]

seee... me and my friends= crazy crazy crazy :]

2007-04-26T14:21:00.000-07:00

we ridee :]

download that song by rihanna :] pretty sweet :]

so today was pretty okay with garrett. the bitch flirted.

i was being such a bitch to sidney this morning because i was really really pissed at things. so like before 4th hour.. i went over to where he was sitting and he was trying to hid from me. so garrett saw that sidney was trying to hide from me.. so he while sidney and i were talking.. he came up to us and decided to block sidney from me. he was like "oh sidney's not here. sorry" hahahah i bursted laughing. then i grabbed his wrists and moved him to my left and i was liek "go move!!" and we were still laughing then garrett goes "keep your hands off me!!". he was kidding but i shot him this oh-my-god-i-cant-believe-you-just-did-that look. i just stood there completely STUNNED beyond belief while him, sidney and neeko were laughing. and then he goes "she thought i was serious!" hahahaha i was like oh my god. yeah he better not be because i would've slapped the shit out of him.

then i cried in gym because we watched Oprah from like two years ago and they did this show about this girl who's addicted to meth. who always gets high and stuff off of it. it was crazy. i cried because me doing weed is not me. i dont like the girl that i am right now. this is not me. not at all. if you take a look back at me from the beginning of this year.. you wouldnt think i would become like this. it's crazy :[

but well.. this morning.. i decided i wanted to wear my chain necklace. but it was freezing cold since it's metal.. so i thought about putting it on the heater so it would get warmer. when i came back a few minutes later.. i grabbed the chain.. and the part which i touched was still a little cold.. so i was like 'fuck this. i'll just wear it' so i put it on and i swear when i felt the lower part of the chains touch my neck.. it was FLAMING HOT!!! it was sooo hot that it burnt me and the moment that it touched my neck.. i threw it across the room!!! hahahahaha :] but it was funny.

so it left red trails of the necklace on my neck and it is really burnt. so i put on some band-aids and people have started to think that it's a fuckin hickey. hahaha it was hilarious. but what's even more funny is.. my friend cami told my teacher that it's a hickey. mr. kramer knows garrett so he goes "so do i need to have a little talk with garrett about this one?" hhahahah it was the funniest thing!!

god.

2007-04-23T18:48:00.000-07:00

mmm righhttt

well like i guess today was fine. ya know?

i talked to garrett about last 4/20 and i thought i did pretty good. to try and pretend that im all better. that i only see him as a friend now. i think i pretty much sent him that vibe alright. but deep inside i was burning soooo much. it was cutting me sooo deep. i was in such pain. and what's worst is i walked with him all the way from the elevator out to the parking lot and we were walking side by side.. and our bodies were touching each others.. it was like sadie's night memories hit me again :( it was painful. i cant handle it. but honestly, what am i supposed to do? :(

we're better off like this though. so i'd rather suffer and be fake friends with him than lose him completely.

i would tell you ALL about him..

but then you might just end up falling for him

2007-04-22T15:36:00.000-07:00

who else do i have?

my family sucks.
school sucks.
garrett sucks.

friends are my rock. and my dad wants to take them away from me.
i love my friends more than anything in the world.
my parents are the most dramatic people in my life. small things become big things. ESPECIALLY TO MY DAD. the dramawhore.
so now tell me who else i have?

suicide
last resort

2007-04-20T12:25:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 4/20 people!!!! :)

it's the national weed day today :)

so wednesday was just a horrible day okay?

neeko told me that she talked to garrett and he didnt like me like that. so of course i got mad because i thought sidney was lying to me just to help garrett. i was sooooo mad. so i got mad at him blah blah. and i didnt talk to him or garrett.

today i just got over it and i decided i'll just say sorry to sidney and stuff. so we made up today and well we talked. and today is 4/20 bitchesss :]

WE ARE PARTYING IT UP LIKE NO OTHERRRR :]
sidney's coming. garrett and brendan might.
but garrett and brendan might not so im not really excited.
but if garrett does.. then im really nervous and scared beyond belief.. I SWEARRR

well i gtg and get ready, pack up for the sleepover tonight.
im so excited. i swearrr.

2007-04-18T12:34:00.000-07:00

so FRIENDS my asssss :{

i called you my "friend" and gave you ALL the fuckin trust in the world only to find out that you were lying all this time. you have NO involvement in this situation whatsoever so i dont see why you had to lie to me about it. you're selfish and cocky and you only care about yourself. you dont give a damn about your friends.

so if i take ecstacy, dont come running to me and telling me "i dont want you to take ecstacy because you're my friend and you're so important to me. you're so cool to talk to". IMPORTANT MY ASS.

i hope you burn in hell.

I HATE LIARS MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD.
AND YOUR FRIEND NEEDS TO STOP LEADING GIRLS ONNNNN

2007-04-17T19:43:00.000-07:00

cutest thingg :]

today was pretty intense :) hahaha

so uhmm like around 3rd hour garrett was talking to eric ganos and them. and again i saw his cute little smile. I SWEAR I LOVE IT WHEN HE SMILESSS. like havent i made that clear since i started liking him? but so today when he was talking to him, eric and dave like looked my way and smiled and garrett was like fuckin smiling like insane. and i was of course like smiling too :] so then eric took garrett's crutch and like started waiving it towards my way and like i just looked up to them and like gave them a weird look and started talking to mary and kirsten again. HAHAH im such a snob. then you know how sometimes when you look straight u can still see what people are doing from the corner of your eyes? well when i turned my attention back to mary and kirsten, i saw eric give the crutch back to garrett and garrett kinda like shrugged. like i guess they were trying to get my attention so eric took garrett's crutch and waived it my way and when i didnt pay attention (coz i didnt even smile) they like shrugged. kinda like "oh well" hahaha :] and then they started creepin next to us. it was hilarious. i had to laugh at that. hahaha im not gonna lie. at least may effort makipag usap hahaha

so today i pretty much had 5th and 6th hour as free day :] no teachersss :] so lauren, liz and i all went upstairs to the locker area around like 2:23 or something. and well garrett gets out of class that early. so aka he started walking to our locker area and well liz, lauren and i were just sitting on the bench. then kristy and autumn came and i like rushed to them and gave them hugs.. then lauren and liz came running. then while everyone else was like hugging each other.. i turned around. habit i guess. and i looked like right at his direction and i saw him with this HUGE ASS smile on his face and like lookin directly at me. and he nobody else was around because as i have said, we got out of class early. so it was just us upstairs.. so who else could he be smiling at?? i seriously just like looked away and didnt even smile at him :] hahaha tapang noh? hahaha

so we were just chillin there. same place. and he usually leaves from the left side of his locker to go to the elevator.. but today, he left from like the right side. and still, no one else was around coz it was still early. so he like crutched towards me and we hugged :] hahaha so then we talked. like i pretty much told him that im celebrating 4/20 hahaha. it's the first so he has to come. but idkk we probably wont though because idk. but if he does.. we might end up hookin up. im scareddd. hahaha nervous as fuck dude.

so when all of stoney got out of class.. he like talked to christina and like idk.. he was like smiling the entire time. and i was like kinda near them but not really. then his back was like kinda facing me.. and he like purposely turned around just to like look at me and he was fuckin smiling. INSANE!

hahahah im happy. but i dont want to be really happy because tomorrow.. i swear it might be like a bad day. so im just being careful.

**mary passed her road test!! yay!!

2007-04-16T13:04:00.000-07:00

tell me what he wants from me

1st hour today
Russel: so u didnt call or text me back last night
Sidney: oh i knoww. well he said he likes you
Russel: whatttt?!?!
Sidney: yeah he said he's okay with the party
Russel: omg what'd u tell him?
Sidney: about the party and he said he's okay with it
Russel: that doesnt mean shit. that doesnt mean he likes me
Sidney: well i know. but he said it afterwards. he said he likes you

what the fuck? i honestly dont know what to do with him. i dont know what he wants from me and i dont know if sidney told him what i wanna do with garrett and if he's just helping him to get laid this weekend. fuckkk i swear im like confused like no other. WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM ME?? (tell me what u think on the tagboard guyss)

im tired of all the bullshit.
i need a break.

what if i had a thing on the side?

made you cry?

would the rules change up or would they still apply?

what if i played you like a toy?

sometimes i wish i did act like a boy

2007-04-14T14:30:00.000-07:00

sooo..

"EXPECT NOTHING && YOU WILL NEVER BE LET DOWN Dont ever look forward to anything good happening and when something good does happen You'll be the happeiest person alive"-- kierston

she's right u know :] that's exactly how i felt when i went to homecoming with Jon and when i went to sadie's with garrett. i didnt expect anything because i knew that it might not turn out the way i wanted it to be and i will get depressed. it's kinda hard but i mean.. you just really gotta LIVE THE MOMENT :) and everything will fall in the right places :)

not seeing garrett for the whole spring break kinda makes me not want him anymore? idk.. but honestly I HAD FUN this break. it was amazing.

*stole a car
*had mary (who only had her permit) drive the car without an adult with us
*went to lifetime without causing any troubles
*got away with everything
*snuck out of my house
*snuck someone in heather's house :)

and there's more that i couldnt even remember.. but all i know is, i had fun. with my bestestfriends in this whole country america :) hahahah :) i loveee it. i dont need boys to make me happy. i just need to move on :]

and guess what? i might even go to mary's party next weekend without garrett :) im still thinking about bringing him. but i dont think i want to. i dont know. should i? hahahah

life is getting betterrrr :)
i love godd and my friends :)

2007-04-12T22:49:00.000-07:00

FOR MICAH MATIC

hahahah :) o eto na ang post mo gaga :)

i was just looking through my pictures from over the summer and well i saw that picture of us when we met at the hotel :] that was such a fun time :] remember thomas? HAHAHAH i swear that was the funniest thing. and remember those handstands in the pool? hahahah funny funny.

too many hott guys so little time, dba?

crazy.

o ayan i updated just for you. feel special BITCH :) ahhaha

2007-04-10T11:19:00.000-07:00

mehh..

so updates..?

friday:
not a good day. dont wanna talk about it

saturday and sunday:
pretty much just hung out with family and drove around like crazy. hey it was my first time driving while snowing :) ah-mazing but scary :]

monday:
VERY FUN DAY! i was still sleeping and my brother woke me up and told me that some girl was outside looking for me. and then i see mary standing by the door and pretty much invited herself in my house. as soon as she saw me.. she started yelling at me and demanded that i go to lifetime with her. she told me that she just stole her mom's car to get me. HAHAHAH so aka she only has her permit and her mom doesnt even know that she drove all the way to my house just to pick me up! hahaha :) insane girl. and then when we were looking for a parking spot close to the one where they parked at before, this guy walked to that same parking spot. so aka we got the same parking spot. how crazy is that? but wait.. there's more. hahaha im not a member at lifetime so she's taking me as her guest. the lady asked me if i have my driver's license to prove im 16. and i said no i dont have it but she still let me in :)

so we did some yoga and stairmaster then i got pushed in the pool and then we went to the hot tub :] after that, they brought me back home and i hung out with lo, heather and nate :] and then honey, kristy, britney and bobby came and we stayed out till like 10:30 :p fun fun day :]

2007-04-05T18:59:00.000-07:00

updates:

i have not talked to garrett the whole week. although yesterday i really wanted to because he was leaving that night and i would hate not to say bye to him. i wanted to say bye to him personally, but it didnt happen. i didnt catch him. so i just myspace messaged him last night and wished him a good time in arizona. he replied and he was really cute :]

so what did i do yesterday? i went to The Village Mall yesterday with liz, mary, lauren, cody, nate and heather :] we went to abercrombie, hollister, bath & body works and maggie moo's. i swear they have the best chocolate ice cream with gummi bears mix :] but nothing beats eating that ice cream while it's blizzarding outside. and no we werent inside, we were walking to the car while eating ice cream. it was freezing outside!!

but yesterday was really fun with friends.. and the whole garrett replying to my message :] god it was fun :]

SPRING BREAK '07!!! :]

2007-03-31T17:55:00.000-07:00

major major stuff

**ive updated multiply :]

LAST NIGHT:
i knew that people were going to toxic night club. but since i didnt tell my dad that i wanna go and i didnt know who can drive me and stuff.. i decided not to go. and then lauren told me that sparky's going. and well sparky has a car and he drives.. so at like 6:00, i called my dad and i told him that i wanna go. unbelievably, he said yes. so i went to toxic around 9:00. i was with sparky, katie, caitlyn, jaclyn and emily. oh lordd toxic was boring at first but then i started dancing and i was dancing with emily and jaclyn since caitlyn and katie were all busy dancing with all these cute guys.. and then i felt someone grab my hips and was like hardcore grinding with me. idk if it was his intention to lift up my skirt or if his grip was just too tight because i was this close to making out with him but well i was too busy pulling my skirt down. damn i think i pulled it down 3 times. anyway.. i was lonely for a bit so katie and caitlyn were telling me to go look for a guy to dance with. so we spotted this kid wearing hollister and he was the kid we saw earlier who was showing off his abs. he was hott. so katie and caitlyn were pushing me to dance with him. i didnt want to just because.. and then a little later i was dancing with jaclyn and emily.. and then a group of guys came running towards us. then i felt someone grab my hips again and was like grinding and shit with me.. i turned around only to find out like 3 other guys dancing with me and then their other friend who can no longer find another spot behind me, jumped infront of me and he started dancing with me too. so aka i had like 4 guys around me, dancing with me. so emily and jaclyn gave me these "do u mind sharing some?" looks. hahaha it was hilarious man. and when i turned around, i was surprised to find that Hollister guy was dancing with me. katie and caitlyn were really jealous. hahaha. and then later on i was dancing and this guy asked me "do u wanna dance?" and im so sorry to say this but he was really ugly and wasnt my type.. so i was like "uh not really sorry" but i was already dancing with emily. so i felt bad. but what's worse is.. the guy who was dancing with katie (who she's really good friends with) was friends with that kid who just asked me to dance. AND I TURNED HIM DOWN. haha omgg i felt sooooo bad. and then here's the thing.. sparky= never bring him to a club. he was suchhhh a horrible dancer. omggg so sorry. he tried to dance with me and omg. he was sooooo horrible :\ really horrible.

TODAY:
so a couple days ago, i posted a quote in my myspace bulletin. and i actually really got that from kierston's myspace. but then ive seen it go around myspace bulletins before.. so i thought what the heck? so i posted it and a couple days later, i had a new message and it was from kierston. honestly i was scared because i didnt know what to expect. she replied to the bulletin that i posted and she was like "i actually wrote that myself and people stole it. haha im glad u agreee" so i was like oh boyy. so i told her it was really good and then i asked if she didnt like me or whatever. so from there we started talking. she opened up a bit to me and i kinda opened up to her too. she's really a nice girl. so aka she's pretty, she's smart and she's really nice. she told me this:

kierston: he said he doesnt want a girlfriend? HAHA did you tell him having a girlfriend is like RARE for him. and that your the best girl he could get so hes missing out. hes a doushe. i always see you posting bullitens and stuff about moving on when he should be the heartbroken one not you.. hes not that special you can do way better FYI. haha

kierston: like honestly if it seems like you care more about him then he does about you. then maybe you need to drop that white kid. because honestly like im speaking for the whole world when i say this.. you can do better and you being his girlfriend would make him seem like a BALLLAAAA ( and we all know hes really not) your too pretty for him HONESTLYYYY

so that's what kierston told me. and with that coming from kierston, i trust her because she's had experience with garrett and she's like drop-dead gorgeous. so ive come to realize that maybe i dont really need him in my life. maybe i was just really blind to not see that. kierston made me feel sooooo much better. really.

oh and we both hate MEGHAN!!!! wowowowowow fucking white trash whore :] seriously, do a survey around the school and see how many people hates her. even her friends talk shit bout her. every single one. she's really a fucking slut and a whore :] god damn how does she manage?? hahaha she's nothing but grossness. she jumps every single guy she gets her hands on. see? sluttt. omg.

2007-03-30T12:06:00.000-07:00

you should know

when to let go....

and that's exactly what im doing.

it's gonna be really hard and really painful. it will take lots and lots of energy and time.. maybe even a good cry or two. but yesterday, as i was laying in my bed watching One Tree Hill, i realized that maybe it's time for me to move on. it'll be harder for me to do so considering his locker is right by mine and i'd always see him hanging out there and having to share the same friends. it's been almost 3 months since i officially started liking him and almost 2 months since sadie's. it's been a long time although it doesnt feel like it. those 3 months really went by soooo quickly and i didnt even notice.

yes, last night i bawled my eyes out again. prayed. cried. ate chocolates. watched some more one tree hill till i've had enough. listened to music till i fell asleep. woke up this morning with puffy eyes. and then i ate more chocolates.

this 3-day weekend would really help a lot because im in the process of moving on and well i need a 3 day break. and then i only have a week left of school and then im off to spring break and so is he. he's leaving for arizona and i'd be really glad to not having to talk to him over break. unlike before, i would hate to have long breaks because i wouldnt get to see him.. but now, i think i really want a long break to help me move on and get on with life. this is just like what happened to me and karl. i needed a break from him and all the drama between us.. and well, thanksgiving break was there. so spring break shall do me good :]

i hope this works out for me. and i hope i stand strong in the end :]

2007-03-28T19:00:00.000-07:00

todayy

it was a pretty okay day. i talked to garrett before 6th hour and it was okay. after 6th hour, we were waiting for the elevator to open so me, liz, steph, reece and lauren were all just chillin there. the elevator dinged and i knew that the doors were gonna open.. so i started walking towards it although i wasnt looking. i was looking down.. when the doors opened.. this tall guy on crutches walked out. it was garrett. scared the fuck out of me. i didnt think he was gonna be there because he doesnt usually go downstairs around that time. so i just walked when the doors opened and then i saw him. really scared me. i yelped and i was just like yelling "what the hell are you doing here??" hahaha it was hilarious. even liz got freaked out. hahaha

during 6th hour, before i came to choir, i stopped by at the guitar classroom like i always do. i'd always stop by there to hug Jason. one time while hugging him, a kid that i've never seen before in my life came up to us and asked us "are you guys goin out?". i was like "no" and he's like "you guys should. u guys would be cute" and i was like uhhmmmm awkward much? because jason likes me and i dont like him like that. i dont mind flirting with him and stuff but i just dont like him like that.

so today during 6th hour when i came by his class, i hugged him and i was like walking with him and stuff.. lauren saw us and she gave us this weird "what is that?" look. and i don't know why i said it.. but i kinda said it out loud "my boyfrienddd" while looking at jason. and he like went along with it.

idkk. hahah confusing

it was a pretty good day over all.

2007-03-27T12:41:00.000-07:00

updatesss :)

Sunday:
hmm defff ran a red lightt hahaha. the light was shining bright freakin red. did i stop? NO. deff just went for it. and you know what's bad? i even said out loud "uhmm yeah i'll just go" and i drove right under a red light. SMARRTTTT. my dad was soooo mad, his voice was shaking. i had my whole family with me which got him mad even more. he was yelling and screaming at me, and there i was.. chillin, driving and laughing. i thought it was the funniest thing! hahaha :) hmm good day :)

Monday:
do you fuckin know what a CUSTODIAN is?? dont laugh becuause i didn't even find out what the hell that meant till this monday morning. i feel so dumb because everybody knows what that means. it's like, once they found out that i didnt know that.. they asked me "do u know what a teacher is? what a janitor is?" and i feel so dumb because it feels like it's that easy. what the fuck?? let me tell you.. IN MY FUCKIN HOMELAND, WE CALL THEM JANITORS!! what the fuck is the difference?? they both sweep the goddamn floor. so why the hell do they need to call them "custodians" when they can simply call them janitors? no matter how beautiful it sounds, they both sweep and clean floors. SAME DIFFERENCE ;) doesnt make their job seem any more interesting.

Today:
kinda bad day with garrett and school. blechhh... idk

HANGING OUT TOMORROW!!!:D yey!! im excited.

im psyched that spring has already begun :) cant wait for that warrrrmmmmmm weather!

2007-03-24T10:09:00.000-07:00

so yesterday

what happened?

it was a pretty horrible day until 5th hour. i took a test in math which i know i failed and this bitch Ms. Trent who thinks she's a real teacher when she's only a sub, took my fone away because it vibrated. she's such a bitchh. grr so i was telling my friends how she took it and stuff. and then i saw neeko and i remembered she had my iPod. so i called her over and i asked for my iPod and then i told her about ms trent taking my fone away and she laughed her ass off. and then she yelled "GARRETT, SHE GOT HER FONE TAKEN AWAY!!" and garrett like crutched over to me and i ended up telling him the story. he was just smiling and he saw my iPod and he wanted it. i kinda bitched at him and told him not to take it :) i thought i was being a bitch and i felt bad but then i realized.. it's good that i did that so he knows i can be a bitch and that he's not always in control.

so after 6th hour i saw him and i said bye and got my fone from the office. i went home and stayed home for like an hour and a half. then kelley called me and she was asking for directions to my house. i told her the directions and i told her that i would be outside waiting for her. so i did and i thought she had a car. but no, she had a Blazer haha. so then i told her i wanna go to Taco Bell. we ate there for awhile and then we went to her house. we talked for a bit and then i asked if i was gonna tan. and she said yeah. so she had everything set up and stuff. and i pretty much just laid on her tanning bed for 10 mins. i got a little dark but not really. she has her own fuckin tanning bed! hahaha then i met his brother. he would be really cute except he's a little big. but they're really rich. insane! then brendan called me and told me he's home already but he would be in the shower. so i told him that i would stop by but he said he's gonna be in the shower.. so i told him that i dont wanna wait for him coz i gotta get home. so we ended up not seeing each other. although before 5th hour, i saw him and he gave me a hug.

so i went home at like 7:45-ish. and i swear i was only home for 5 mins and then alvyn called me and asked me if i wanted to go out and eat dinner. i said yes and he picked me up. we went to this sushi place and it was fun. i met his friends marcus and john. they're all in college so it was pretty awkward at first but then it got fun. so after the dinner, we didnt really know where else to go because i had the fuckin 10:00 curfew, so they took me home and i think they went to downtown birmingham.

so yeah that's that.
i went tanning and ate sushi.
life sucks.

2007-03-22T14:32:00.000-07:00

another good-bad-good day?

yesterday i went to the spanish field trip. it was fun but the food was gross. let me tell you i almost got sick. yes, it was a good day with garrett. kind of. i walked him to class. then i got back to school around 2:30. as paige was driving me home, liz called me and told me that she and steph are on their way to mary's house. to cut long story short, i got pissed at them for not calling me. they assumed that i wouldn't get back till 4 so they left. i was just pissed that i did not take any of their million fone calls that night.

today
mary and i skipped 1st hour and we hung out in the elevator. the first time that someone turned it on, we freaked out only to find out that it was garrett. we brought him to the third floor and brought him back to the first floor. so mary and i chilled in the elevator again and someone pressed for the elevator again. it was mrs. crowell. oh my good lord. i was so afraid but we just acted like we had the right to be there. so aka we didnt get caught but that was really close. liz said something to me before 4th hour that made me cry. we're kind of rocky right now. same with me and neeko. so today, i broke down after 5th hour. i talked to liz and neeko and i was crying. garrett saw me and i was really embarassed because of course i dnt want him to see me cry. like that's just weird.

so lauren, mary, steph and liz were like around me while i was crying and we were exchanging hugs and then garrett saw that i was crying so he was asking what was wrong and stuff. i was still crying and he didn't even leave. he was just standing there by his locker looking at us and trying to figure out what was wrong. so everybody was like "russel.. he wants to talk to you" and i started laughing a little bit because i honestly did not want him to see me. so i was whispering to my friends "dont let him see me. i look like shit" but still, they were like "omgg u need to talk to him. look, he's standing right there." so stephanie carried/drag me to the post near garrett's locker and left me there to talk to garrett. i saw garrett and he was smiling. so i looked away and turned around. i hugged the post instead. i was also yelling "stop looking at mee.. i look like shit". but that didn't stop stephanie.. she pushed/threw me to garrett. i tried to avoid him and i did. then stephanie yelled "you missed him" and so i was just pretty much laughing and garrett was too. so then i hugged him and he hugged me and he didn't even like move. he just chilled there and leaned by his locker and he was like "so what's wrong?" and i was like "stuff" but i realized that we're gonna be late if we dont leave now. so i told him that i will just tell him on aim.

after 6th hour.. i gave him another hug just to thank him and i was liek "thanks" and he's liek "what for?" and i was like "uhmm idkk.. just uh idkk" haha i could not explain let me tell u :) hahaha

but okay, signing off of aim's not good when i got there.

good or bad day?

2007-03-20T13:28:00.000-07:00

this day blowwssss

yeah this day sucks.
not much happened but it just fuckin sucks

asked if he needs help.. got fuckinnnn denied twice.
yeah thats right. so aka im never ever askin him again if he needs help.

take that bitchhh.

2007-03-19T14:43:00.000-07:00

until the end of time

omgggg im inlove with that song. justin timberlake dude.
his FutureSex/LoveSound album is the best album there is ;) trust me. i loveeee every song in that cd. amazing. amazing. amazing.

so today, i did a lot of "illegal" stuff. hahaha hmm.. let's see.

1st- i skipped my 4th hour to go to lunch
2nd- i wasnt supposed to go out to lunch for the junior incentive lunch day but i did anyway
3rd- i nearly died when i went out to lunch because sparky decided to drive stupid and turned on a non-existent left lane. THAT WAS SOO ILLEGAL. let me tell you, when i got out of the car i was sooo alive that i got out of it aliveee. i was running for my lifee
4th- since i went out to lunch, i was 5 mins. late for my 5th hour
5th- i almost got caught cheating for my math quiz
6th- i got my fone taken away by my math teacher
7th- i knowww i failed my math quizz

so tell me thats not a bad day..?
hmm the only thing that made me go through this day is because i walked garrett to his 2nd hour. actually, not really. but i kinda did. omggg i so wanna be in the elevator with himm. maybe tomorrow. hahaha then i also talked to him before 6th hour. it was funn :)

so see how no matter how shitty and fucked up my day is.. it's not soo bad when he talks to me or when i have a good time with him. it's not so bad afterall. but then if we have like a bad day, no matter how good my day is.. it wouldnt be as good because we had a bad day. so yeah :)

i need a lifeee guys. seriously.

WISSA I MISS YOUUUU!!! even though i just talked to you last night ;) hahaha special mention. update ka kasi ng blog mo timang!

2007-03-16T16:32:00.000-07:00

dark blue

so last night i was on on aim and garrett signed on. and he's been on for like 30 mins. already and he wouldn't IM me first. i was getting really depressed already becuase i walked him to class and i thought "don't i deserve at least that much attention from him?" so i got depressed and as my away message, i wrote "i wish i had the right drug to kill mee" and then a few minutes later, he IM'd me. i started getting all happy and stuff. to cut long story short, he was really concerned to the point where we had a real conversation goin on. it wasn't just like a bullshit conversation. HE OPENED UP TO ME and i opened up to him in return. we just like talked about our lives and stuff. i cant believe that we opened up to each other. it's amazing.

i loved it.

2007-03-15T15:44:00.000-07:00

t.o.d.a.y

was today a good day? not really.

it was pretty fun though. garrett and i talked a lot today and apparently, im more of a boyfriend than a girlfriend. hahaha let me tell you why.

i was walking to my 5th hour and i saw garrett chillin by his locker all by himself. but he wasnt lookin at me for help. so i was like, aryt.. whatever. so then i started walking to my class with mary but then i felt really bad that he's all alone. so i told mary i wanna walk back and just pretend that i have to like put my book back to my locker. so i did and i saw mexican tony and i hugged him. so then i walked to my locker and shoved my book back in my locker.. and then garrett was asking tony for help and tony yelled "oh russel, can u just please help garrett?" so i was like "yeah i guess.." and then mary picked up his books and garrett was like "was he talking to you awhile ago russel?" and i was like "yeah" then i went to his locker and got his books from mary. so then we were walking to our class with mary and mary was like "okay well have fun you two" and i was like what?!?!?! so then she left us and garrett and i started talking and well yeah, i walked him to class.. now, don't i look like the "boyfriend" instead of the girlfriend? HAHAHA. then i asked him what happened last night and he told me the story. so okay, this is why i asked him that question.

last night, i was doubting if i wanted to sign in on aim.. but i did anyway. then i saw he was online. so i like panicked and stuff. it was funny. and then we talked for almost an hour and then i told him that i'll be right back because that time, i had to hug heather. i'll tell u bout it later. but yeah so i told him that i will be right back, he said okay. after like 4 mins, he said he'll be right back too becuase he has to do "something" then there was like a smiling face. i was like, what the fuck?! and then i looked at his away message and it was "chillin with mary j". at first i was like who the fuck is mary.. and then i bursted out laughing!!! that boy is seriously hilarious and amazing in every way.

but last night while talking to him i had to hug heather becuase she was having issues with brian. i was in my jammies already, no make up and my hair was pulled up. it was also negative two degrees outside. but that didnt stop me from goin outside my house and hug heather. i was like "come outside coz i am gonna hug you" and she's like "it's freezing outside" and i was liek "i don't care!" so i wore my sweatshirt and yes in my jammies, i went outside and i hugged her. crazy. :)

2007-03-14T12:03:00.000-07:00

to all my girls.. this one's for youu<33

To the nice girls who are overlooked, who become friends and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions because it must be they that are doing something wrong. This is for the girls who don't give it up on the first date, who don't want to play mind games, who provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story they've heard a thousand times. This is for the girls who understand that they aren't perfect and that the guys they're interested in aren't either. For the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe... maybe this time he'll have understood. who care more than they should for guys who don't deserve their attention. This is for those girls who have been in the trenches, who have watched other girls time and time again fake up and make up and fuck up the guys in their lives without saying a word. This is for the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the trite words of advice, from "there are plenty of fish in the sea," to "time heals all wounds." This is to honor those girls who knows that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, who are seeking to find it.

This is for the girls who have never been in love, but know that it's an experience that they don't want to miss out on. For the girls who have sought a night with friends and been greeted by a night of catcalling, rude comments and explicit invitations that they'd rather not have experienced. This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages, who have tried to make someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint after hint only to watch him chase after the first blonde girl in a skirt. This is for the girls who have been told that they're too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend.

This one's for the girls who you can take home to mom, but won't because it's easier to sleep with a whore than foster a relationship; this is for the girls who have been led on by words and kisses and touches, all of which were either only true for the moment, or never real to begin with. This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart and bed, only to discover that he's just not ready, he's just not over her, he's just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it's easier to believe that it's not that they don't want you, it's that they don't want anyone. This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you've returned home alone, for the nights when you've seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talking a little too softly for the girl he's with to be a random hookup. This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn't that he didn't want a relationship: it was that he didn't want you. I honor you for the night his dog died or his grandmother died or his little brother crashed his car and you held him, thinking that if you only comforted him just right, or said the right words, or rubbed his back in the right way then perhaps he'd realize what it was that he already had. This is for the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep.

This is for the "I really like you, so let's still be friends" comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends, you seldom choose those which make you cry yourself to sleep. This is for the hugs you've received from your female friends, for the nights they've reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy; this is for the despair you all felt as you sat in the aftermath of your tears, knowing that that night the only companionship you'd have was with a pillow and your teddy bear. This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we've believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we'd have ever wanted. This is for the girls who have been satisified with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more: for the girls who don't think that they deserve more, because they've been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys.

This is what I don't understand. Men sit and question and whine that girls are only attracted to the mean guys, the guys who berate them and belittle them and don't appreciate them and don't want them; who use them for sex and think of little else than where their next conquest will be made. Men complain that they never meet nice girls, girls who are genuinely interested and compelling, who are intelligent and sweet and smart and beautiful; men despair that no good women want to share in their lives, that girls play mindgames, that girls love to keep them hanging. Yet, men, I ask you: were you to meet one of these genuinely interested, thrillingly compelling, interesting and intelligent and sweet and beautiful and smart girls, were you to give her your number and wait for her to call... and if you were to receive a call from her the next day and she, in her truthful, loyal, intelligent and straightforward nice girl fashion, were to tell you that she finds you intriguing and attractive and interesting and worth her time and perhaps material from which she could fashion a boyfriend, would you or would you not immediately call your friends to tell them of the "stalker chick" you'd met the night prior, who called you and wore her heart on her sleeve and told the truth? And would you, or would you not, refuse to make plans with her, speak with her, see her again, and once again return to the bar or club or party scene and search once more for this "nice girl" who you just cannot seem to find? Because therein lies the truth, guys: we nice girls are everywhere. But you're not looking for a nice girl. You're not looking for someone genuinely interested in your intermural basketball game, or your anatomy midterm grade, or that argument you keep having with your father; you're looking for a quick fix, a night when you can pretend to have a connection with another human being which is just as disposable as the condom you were using during it.

So don't say you're on the lookout for nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take. Sometimes we go undercover; sometimes we go in disguise: sometimes when that girl in the low cut shirt or the too tight miniskirt won't answer your catcalls, sometimes you're looking at a nice girl in whore's clothing - - we might say we like the attention, we might blush and giggle and turn back to our friends, but we're all thinking the same thing: "This isn't me. Tomorrow morning, I'll be wearing a teeshirt and flannel shorts, I'll have slept alone and I'll be making my hungover best friend breakfast. See through the disguise. See me." You never do. Why? Because you only see the exterior, you only see the slutty girl who welcomes those advances. You don't want the nice girl.. so don't say you're looking for a relationship: relationships take time and energy and intent, three things we're willing to extend - - but in return, we're looking for compassion and loyalty and trust, three things you never seem willing to express. Maybe nice guys finish last, but in the race they're running they're chasing after the whores and the sluts and the easy-targets... the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with water and towels and a congradulatory hug (and yes, if she's a nice girl and she likes you, the sweatiness probably won't matter), hoping against hope that maybe you'll realize that they're the ones that you want at the end of that silly race.

so to all those girls out there.. THIS IS FOR YOU!

2007-03-13T17:33:00.000-07:00

good-bad-good dayy

i swearrr to my family, today was a weird day. haha :)

last night, mary went to CPS and it was horrible :( i wanted to hug her so bad :(

but so today, we took that ACT test. let me tell you, i BS-ed the whole thing. i thought about answering the first part truthfully, but yeah.. i BS-ed it. haha it was sooo hard. math was really hard. how am i supposed to know cos, tan, log and all those term?! im not in calc. so screw that. but before we took the test, we were gonna go to our rooms and i was talking to neeko and alison and then i saw garrett a little far away from me. so i told neeko and i was like having fun. then he started walking towards me and chilled there. he started talking to me and stuff.. and then i had to go.. so i left them all there. and then he walked away! aka he just stayed there to talk to me. CAME OVER FROM LIKE A MILE AWAY JUST TO TALK!! sooooo cute. :)

we had a break after the math part of the test.. then i saw meghan talking to garrett. i got pissed but then i guess when she saw me, she kinda backed off.. so i was like "GOOD". haha. no one's touching MY man. hahaha!!! then yeah i caught him twice.. looking at me. once, looking for me. :) hahaha that sounds like "makapal" but it's true though. my friends noticed it too :) everybody was like "aww you guys are soo cute". then after the test, i saw him and we talked and stuff :) the bitchh went shopping. HAHAHA

after the test i went out to eat lunch with lauren, mary, steph, cody and liz. they did the chinese fire drill and it was hilarious. well of course i couldn't do it because i was with stephanie in her tiny little crossfire. then we got hit by a truck down Rochester and Tienken Rd. we waited for the police and steph's mom to come. we were supposed to go laser tagging but instead, we went and chilled at liz's house.

we jumped on the trampoline in our bras.:) we jumped from the roof to the trampoline. omgg it was sooo much fun. hahaha. yeah i didn't do anything illegal today and i had fun!:D hahaha it was sooo much fun. mary even got a picture of her getting "arrested" by the cop. omggg it was embarassing let me tell you. haha

then we ate DQ and stuff. SOOO MANY STUFF HAPPENED TODAY! i swearrr today was soo funn.

i told you guys. it was good- bad- good- bad- good day. i hope that tomorrow will be fun too.
except i cried for a little bit because stephanie got mad because she found out about liz and cody :( idkk.. i was sad for awhile. but yeah.. it was all worth while today. I LOVE MY FRIENDS. omgg amazing.

and today with garrett was amazing. im just so scared for tomorrow. i hope it doesnt suck tomorrow just because i had fun today. :\ im scared.

2007-03-12T13:22:00.000-07:00

suchhh a good day :)

so morning, i thought garrett wasnt in school becuase i didnt see him before 2nd hour.. but yeah you know he just pops out of nowhere sometimes. and that's pretty much what he did today. i saw him after 2nd hour but i had to rush to my 3rd hour because i might be late again and i swearrr to the good lord that im about to get a contract in that class. i have been late many many times and mrs. frerichs is already getting a little furious.

anyway, so i was talking to sidney before 5th hour today and i was asking him if he wants to hang out tomorrow. and then garrett crutched to us AKA he came up to me. and then i started talking to him and sidney while lauren and liz thought it'd be fun to leave me there while talking to them. and then it was time for us to like start walking.. so garrett and i walked together to our 5th hour. im sooo jealous of him right noww like no other! he's going to Arizona for spring break. and since he is on crutches like the crippled that he is (hahaha) he got upgraded to first class on the plane. i was sooo jealous when he was telling me this and he had this cute smile goin on.. so that made it all worth while :) but while he was telling me that, i told him that i would seriously kick him if he didn't stop. but of course i didn't kick him. then i asked him if he wanted to hang tomorrow. he said he cant because he needs to go shopping. what?! what guy goes shopping? i mean, besides my shopping-obsessed brother.. hahaha but yeah he said that his mom's taking him shopping tomorrow because he needs to buy clothes for arizona. what a lucky bitchh

but yeah.. it was just fun today because the fact that he came up to me and talked to me was funn :) and when he did, he did this like smile thing and i was just really having sooo much fun.

i love that boy.

other than that, school was boring of course.
ACT/MME TEST TOMORROW!!

i am beyonddd scared right now!

2007-03-10T11:32:00.000-08:00

a good friday at last :)

for the past few weeks.. i would always have a bad friday. like, something would just fuck that up.
well not yesterday.

yesterday was funn.
let me tell you what happened ;)

i was soooo excited for dressing up for the work that i have to do for the choral festival that i packed that black and gold dress and everything with it that i forgot to pack my choir dress!! omg. of all things that i could ever forget, i forgot the most important thing. hahaha how dumb could i get?! so i called my dad and asked him to bring my choir dress and everything to school. yeah, he was pretty mad but whatever. so i went to my 1st, 2nd and 3rd hour and then had first lunch.

first lunch was fun. me, liz, garrett, sidney and brent all rode the elevator goin down to the lunch room. it was sooo funny because liz decided to be retarded and not know how to operate the elevator. garrett had to do it. hahaha it was just soo funny. so we all went to the lunch room and like got food and stuff.. then liz and i sat on a different table with honey and lauren. we ate lunch and then we had to go to the auditorium for the choral festival. guess who i saw?! i saw the infamous Jessie aka the girl who said i "stole" garrett from her. HAHAHA what a joke. so when i saw her.. i told lauren and lauren was liek "are you fuckin serious?!" she said that jessie's like my exact opposite.. im brunette and she's blonde.. im slim and well.. jessie's big. hahaha that's why when lauren saw her, she could not stop laughing. hahaha she's so mean but whatever. im over that issue. so then at like 12:00, it was time for us to get dressed for the festival. so we got dressed and then we all went to do our presentation.. and then at like 1:45, we got done with it.. so mr. ulrich told us that we can already change. liz and i changed into our 2nd dresses and got dressed. yes, the real reason for me dressing up was because of garrett. of course i want him to see me all dolled up. hahahaha how lame, i know.

so after dressing up, all of my friends and i were just chillin at the locker area.. and they all know why im so dressed up. so the minute garrett walked out of his class, everybody was telling me that he's coming. so he got to his locker and things started to get really embarassing. people were yelling "russel you look so cute!" "russel, i love ur dress" and stuff like that. and then marissa came over and her locker right beside garrett's.. so she walked over there and yelled to his ear "russel ur so cute. come here" and i just walked away laughing. and then melanie was liek "hey russel, come with me.. let's talk to marissa" and i was like NOOOO.

anyway after all that, he walked away and i got pissed because i thought he left already without even saying bye to me. to think that i got all dolled up for him and he doesn't even have the balls to say bye or whatever made me mad. so i just talked to tony and we were near the elevator.. then i saw garrett, sidney and brent all walking to the locker area.. so sidney hugged me and we all walked to the elevator. then garrett inserted the key and the elevator opened.. he let sidney and brent to go in first. he turned to me and talked to me.

Garrett: so why are you so dressed up? is there like a special occassion or something?
Russel: uh.. just this choir festival thing goin on.

and then we all rode the elevator to the 2nd floor and then garrett and sidney walked out of it.. and then brent and i just kinda left. haha

FESTIVAL
we met all these hott guys from Dakot High and yes we exchanged numbers. Brenden is the hottest :) haha.. and then there was this hott Adams High kid. i dnt knw what his name is. but he's pretty hott. too bad he's a frosh.

after the festival Brendan called me. he's just like "since uve been bitchin at me for not calling you, i thought i'd give u a little call" and yeah we talked for a bit and that was that..

aww Brenden and Brendan. hahaha love.

i thought that was a good day but idkk.. maybe i just think it is and it shouldn't be..? idkk.. whatever. im over it.

2007-03-08T15:29:00.000-08:00

story of my life

boys and friends are never good together.

sometimes you really have to choose one and you have to make the right decision.

i hate how my bestfriends are fighting over one guy.
i hate how i dont know how i should feel about my situation with garrett.
i hate how everybody seems to be getting over their boys who treats them like shit and im still stuck with garrett. :(
i hate how saturday was supposed to be fun. it was supposed to be clubbing with friends. but i guess not.
i hate how my parents and i fight every night. literally everynight..

i hate how liz is my bestfriend and knowing that when she and cody goes out, im gonna have to share her with cody. i will be jealous.

I HATE MY LIFE.

2007-03-04T10:46:00.000-08:00

oh-kay

yesterday was fun. well, it was okay. hahaha :)

LIBERTY RIVADELO!
where in the fuckin world are you?! how could u have possibly called me and at 12:00 midnight here. you are one crazy, and i mean CRAZY girl.-- yeah no lie. i was online on YM lastnight and then this screen pops up and liberty asks "russel, ano number mo jan?!" freaked the shit out of me. even worse when she called. nabaliw ako. literal.

anyway, yesterday i was supposed to hang out with the foursome but that didn't happen since steph got grounded and since she's the only one who has the car that can drive us to places (not even.. because she has a crossfire and it's only a two-seater).. so well we weren't able to hang. instead, i went shopping with my mom and my brother. i was gonna go get a top for friday because we have this choral festival at school and i will be working a shift. so i have to look nice. i have a white flowy skirt and jacket both from Express and i have the gold Atienne Agner sandals. i could wear a white top with it.. but i wanted something brown.. so i decided to go look for a brown top.. i went to Kohl's because i thought it'd be cheap there and i'd only use it for one night. so i went there and took like a lot of brownish-goldish clothes that would match the colors of my sandals and jacket. so i looked and looked and then i spotted this really cute dress. i tried everything on and well surprise surprise. of course the dress was the one that looked good on me. it's like gold underneath with black lace on top of it. and then a simple lined-bow kinda like empire-cut. and it's so cute. so it matches my jacket and gold sandals. so on friday, i would brign the dress and the skirt and stuff so if the dress is a little too dressy, i have another choice :)

so that's that and i will talk to you guys later.:)

MICHI GOT KISSED BY A ROCKSTAR!

2007-02-28T12:45:00.000-08:00

i hope this lasts♥

today was great. no really. im not being sarcastic at all.

today was great. i mean, except for the fact that all juniors were stuck in the cafeteria for 2 hours straight to fill out ACT/MME informations, today was really fun. maybe not really but it's really better than the past few weeks. i talked to garrett a lot today. i talked to him after filling out the ACT/MME informations and he cannot get over calling me a pothead. hahaha! after talking to him for some time, i talked to my friends and we were so noisy and we were just right next to garrett. apparently, according to mary and some other people, garrett was just looking at me the whole time. im not gonna lie.. i kinda felt it but i didn't wanna say anything because i thought that maybe im just thinking it. but i guess not since mary and other people told me he was. and then after 6th hour today, i saw him sitting on the bench and all of my friends were just chillin kinda infront of him. well i didn't really pay close attention to him but i knew he's looking. liz, kristy and honey all told me he was. :) then finally, i talked to him and i told him about the little party happening at liz's next friday. not this coming but next friday. so we pretty much invited him.

he's okay with it. and maybe, just maybe.. i can hook up with him again :)

wasn't that a good day? i thought so.

2007-02-27T12:47:00.000-08:00

when things start to brighten up ;)

i think things are going pretty well so far.
last night, i thought i was gonna get my head chopped off because of what i did yesterday when i tried to call myself out. i thought my parents were gonna confiscate my fone but they didn't. and they only yelled at me for a good 10 mins. that was it. so i think that's good.

today, i thought it was gonna be another bad day for me. i got called down to the main office and i thought i was gonna get suspended. as i was walking to the office, i saw garrett was walking on crutches and i wanted to say hi to him. but then since i was freaking out because i got called down to the office, i just ignored him. i think he saw me but i thought it was for the better that i didn't even smile at him anyway. playing the hard-to-get kinda thing.

so i saw him before second hour and i was gonna talk to him but he started walking to the elevator.. so i didn't bother saying hi to him. i didn't see him after second hour and after 3rd hour which made me a little depressed. i saw him after my lunch which is after 4th hour. he was just chillin by the locker area trying to get his stuff so i waited sooo many minutes before goin up to him. finally i got all my courage and i went up to him and i said hi. he looked at me, smiled and said "hey what's goin on POTHEAD?" hahahahaha! i was like.. OH NO YOU DIDN'T!!! we all started laughing. even liz and cody started laughing with us. all i could say was "i only did it once and now im a pothead? what is that?" then he was still laughing but he said sorry for calling me that. i knew he was kidding anyway so i just laughed it off. after 5th hour heather told me something heart-breaking

Heather: i feel so bad for garrett?
Russel: why? what happened?
Heather: well we had this partner activity and he didn't really know anyone from that class so he ended up doing it by himself and then he was getting ready to leave and nobody was there to pick his books for him so he took it with him and he almost tried to put down his books again because nobody would open the door for him. as soon as i tried to get up and get the door for him, some guy did it.

i felt soooo bad i nearly cried.:\

cute part: after 6th hour, i told him that i have to talk to him. so we sat on the bench and we talked about some illegal issues. HAHAHA. he had to take a quiz and since the conversation was dying anyway, he told me has to leave because he has to take a quiz. so we stood up and i was just u know waiting for him to walk somewhere because i didn't want to just leave him there because he was on crutches. so i was just standing there and he's liek "i would hug you but im on crutches" so i was like "oh hahah yeah it's fine. you don't have to" and then he started crutching towards me and he tried his hardest to hug me and i was like AWWWW! so cute.

good day right?

2007-02-26T12:14:00.001-08:00

oh life can't get any better!

so uhm things have been really stressful for me lately.. obviously. i mean, everything's just seriously falling apart. with garrett and school and family. god. could it be get any worse? well apparently, it could everyday.

today, i don't know what i was thinking but i skipped my 4th hour i tried to call myself out and the school called my mom and told her that i am getting called out and they were just confirming. so to cut the long story short, i told my mom that i didn't wanna go to my 4th hour and im skipping. so she got mad and stuff and im here at home waiting for them to come home in 3 hours and then see what's in store for me. i think my cellfone might get taken away from me again. and i really hope not. but it's really my fault and i guess i have to bear with it. =\

garrett update: he finally came to school today after 2 weeks. i thought he was gonna come and like look normal. but no, today he was on crutches. haha. i felt bad because he was having the hardest time especially because first, his knee hurts.. and then he's too tall for his crutches and then he's having a really hard time. :( i feel really really bad. but i did not wanna go up to him and be like all up in his grill. so i just kinda talked to him today. barely. well he didn't talk to me.. so whatever. but thing is.. numerous people have asked me today "what happened to him? did he break his leg?" and many more questions. they've asked me questions like he's my boyfriend. i mean, i love it. i wanna be his girlfriend but i dnt know. i respect the fact that he doesn't want a girlfriend. im cool with that. he needs to focus with his studies and so do i. like I REALLY HAVE TO!

I NEED TO PRIORITIZE. im having difficulties in my classes because i don't prioritize. i have too many stuff goin on and i really need to start focusing more on studies and less of everything else. I HAVE A MME TEST ON THE 13th OF MARCH! i need to study for that. like MAJOR. so, idk. we'll see. :(

2007-02-23T22:39:00.000-08:00

relaxx

i would say "chillax" but whatevs. anyway, i don't know about me and garrett. even i am getting tired of the whole thing. like, seriously. i know everybody's tired of hearing about garrett. so whatever.

last wednesday morning, since i didn't get my fone back yet, brendan texted my mom's fone. he texted around 8:52 in the morning and he's like

Brendan: hey call me around eleven today if you wanna do something..
and around 12:50 he texted again and was like
Brendan: hey you there?
of course i didn't get either of the text till 6:00. so i replied and i was like

Russel: hey i didn't know u wanted to hang out. u could've told me last night when u called me. but anyway, im free tonight.. so if you still wanna hang...
Brendan: i got pistons tickets. i'll call u later after the game. sounds good?
Russel: why am i not with you then? (i said that as a joke)
Brendan: because you are gay and don't have a fone for me to even ask you to go.
Russel: wait, were u gonna ask me to go to the game with you?
Brendan: yeah. i got extra tickets all the time

I STARTED FREAKIN OUT!!!

if i had my fone with me, i could've spent the night watching the beautiful pistons basketball game with brendan. like how many girls would seriously trade places with me?! my godd. i was the first person he thought of too! coz he didn't know the night before.. he just found out the next morning. he had basketball practice at 8:30. so meaning he found out around that time and he texted me first as soon as he found out. aww.. i missed it though. soo mad. i asked him that night why he didn't ask sam to go with him and he's like "because we broke up"

so there you go. but see.. i could care less if he like uses me so to speak. i mean, i know so well that im like his rebound girl. and i honestly don't care because i don't like him like that anymore. and if he like uses me.. it's fine with me i guess. like, i know that sounds dumb if you look at it that way.. but like all im saying is, it's okay with me if he uses me. like no hard feelings on my part. because i don't like him anymore. so i really could care less. it doesn't mean that i would be like a slut to him.. i just meant that i wouldn't fall for him just coz he's being all sweet to me. coz i know he's just doing that because he's brendan and he's gonna try to make u fall for him. that's brendan right there.

I REALLY DON'T LIKE BOYS ANYMORE.

thank you.

2007-02-21T09:26:00.000-08:00

enough is enough

yesterday after school around like 2:30, i hung out with liz and sidney at liz's place. we chillaxed and stuff then sidney left but jason and dion came over. i was dancing like crazy and i was just honestly all over the place. jason left to pick up this kid matt who goes to Rochester High and he's really hott. HAHA.. then at like 7:00, aaron and chris came over and they decided they wanted to watch the last home game of the season of basketball. so we all went to the game and when we got to the school, liz and i forgot to bring money. of course aaron paid for liz.. but what i didn't expect was chris ended up paying for me. haha. i don't even talk to chris in school. i say hi sometimes but not really. so we watched the game.. and of course, Stoney won against Rochester! woot woot. it was like 50-42 or something.. but they did good. and Brendan was "Mr. to the rescue". i texted him last night to tell him that and he laughed it off. hahaha.

so anyway, after the game, we headed to Mcdonald's and apparently, aaron didn't want anything.. so we drove away. then i got thirsty. chris looked at me and he was like

Chris: we were just at Mcdonald's!!
Russel: i don't have money with me!
Chris: i would've paid for you!!
Russel: nooo...

so he ended up driving me to speedway. he bought me a slushie. haha then we drove around and we decided we wanted to park at the parking lot near lifetime coz nobody can see you there doing whatever shit you gotta do. so we parked there and of course aaron and liz kicked us out of the car because they wanted to......... i don't even wanna know what they wanted to do. so chris and i decided to walk around the grass.. but there was like 4 inches of snow and i didn't wanna walk.. so chris carried me on his back and we were just walking around.. and then i got tired. so he walked up to this hill and he let me stand there.. then we talked about me and garrett and how things are going between us. then we decided to head back to the car since it's been a whole like 10 mins. when we were heading back to the car.. i was of course on chris's back again.. and i had to thank him for the night.. so i was like

Russel: hey
Chris: what?
Russel: look at me..

so he looked even though it was hard since i was on his back.. and i kissed him on the cheek. i had the choice to make out with him on the hill if i wanted to because it looked like it was leading to it and i was already on top of him.. like i was holding on to him and he was holding me already. so i could've made out with him but i didn't. and i could've at least kissed him on the lips when he was carrying me BUT I DIDN'T. you know why? because i like garrett that much. i like him tooo much that i could've made out with other guys but i didn't. because i have too much respect for him. and i got mad at the fact that he kissed meghan a week or two before sadie's.. and if i kissed chris, after sadie's.. that'd be wrong. and i don't even like chris liek that. i just kissed him because he was such a gentleman last night and i had to thank him for that.

anyway, they had to take me home so chris drove to my place and while we were at the stoplight, i looked at him and he was just staring at me. and i was like "what?" and he's like "nothingg..." then looked away. I SWEAR TO GOD.. when boys do that.. it just drives me nuts. Steven did the exact same thing when i was in california.. my godd.. when boys stare at you like that... trust me, it feels incredible. but nothing beats garrett's smile. honestly. there are times when i feel like giving up on garrett since he doesn't even give me the time of day.. then i see our sadie's pictures.. and i see his SMILE. and yeah that's just where i fall back inlove with him again. i fall apart. garrett has a killer smile. im not even kidding. he doesn't smile very often, so when he does.. you seriously die because idk.. it's just really cute and idk. I LOVE IT. and it hurts to know that i will never have him.

2007-02-19T12:22:00.000-08:00

better days

since the day i got my permit, i have been driving constantly and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!!!!!

i drove from the secretary of state to Meijer's then Meijer's to my house on friday. that was an hour drive. then the next day, my mom had a dentist appointment, so i went with her and drove her there.. then my dad just made my drive around while waiting for my mom. so it was like a 3 hour drive. then later that night, i had to drive my dad to where we rent DVD's. that was 30 minutes back and forth. then sunday, i drove all of us to church and Meijer's and all those other stops that we made. :) it was fun!!!
then today, i drove to school!!!!!! yay!!!!!

today, i thought garrett was coming to school. guess not. i don't think he'll be coming to school tomorrow. probley not. but liz, sidney and i are all hanging at liz's place after-school tomorrow, so idkkk. i hope garrett comes though!! i really hope he does. becuase that's like a possible make-out right there..

on other news. last night i was texting brendan and on his 18th birthday, which is on the 17th of March, he's gonna get a tattoo on his lower lip and he promised to take me with him when he gets it.:) then we were texting, right? and this is how it went:

Brendan: so what are u gonna do with ur week off?
Russel: i don't know yet, but i'll probably be starting it off getting drunk ;) you?
Brendan: i don't know. i have this big game on tuesday against Rochester. then i would just be chillin probably. we should hang or something.

HAHA. i would love to hang with Brendan of course. but if Garrett's hanging with me, liz and sidney tomorrow.. then i can't have Brendan there. because if garrett hangs with me, then we would most probably make out again and what's Brendan gonna do there? and if garrett doesn't come, then i guess Brendan can chill with us.. but he has a game that night.. so idkk. :\ i think he wants to hang after that.. but i have no idea. because we're probley not gonna be able to since my daddy would not let me. like, i know that fo sho. :( how sad.

im over all the drama and i'm sooooo happy bout it!! yey!!

2007-02-16T14:32:00.000-08:00

is it even worth it?

last night, i thought about fighting for him. i thought that this time, i will prepare myself to get hurt even more if i really want to be with him. last night i thought im ready to finally fight for someone. but today, after all of the stuff i've heard for the past few days, i can't help but ask if it's even worth it. i honestly don't know anymore.:(

okay, im really tired and exhausted. pagod na talaga. i don't know if i can take more. for the first time, i think i actually don't think im ready to hear more about how meghan and garrett hooked up. stephanie g. told me that it happened a week or 2 before sadie's and they weren't drunk. fine. they were sober. but still.. making out with garrett? and they're not drunk.. like what was he thinking?! i have noooo idea how that happened but i think he likes her.:(

i really hope that he's just using her. but if he is.. then did he kiss me just coz he wanted some or because he likes me..?

**in other news, i got my permit today. finally. after 2 fuckin weeks, i actually got it. i drove from the sec of state to meijer's then home today. hahaha. i just nearly killed my mom and i inside the car. she was freakin out. and evidently, i didn't know how to park. so yeah. whatever. idkk.. we'll see.

2007-02-14T18:48:00.000-08:00

valentine's day

so how was my valentine's day?
well, i cried like 92837493874 times and i didn't enjoy it.

okay, maybe im exaggerating a little bit. but we had a snowday today. so no school. i really didn't want to babysitt because it's valentine's day and it was a snowday and i made plans with people. but did i win..? no. my mom and dad forced me to babysitt. since im a good kid.. yes, i babysat kids today. then drama happened between me and my mom and i don't want to get into detail with it. it's just horrible.

at 6:40-ish, stephanie picked me up and mary was with her too. so we drove to Max and Erma's and we met Jason there. oh, reese was in the car with us too. of course him and steph were making out the whole time. we ate dinner and we laughed the whole time we were eating. we made some friends there and it was funny. liz joined us for a little bit but she hung out with her church friends and they had to leave at 8:00 so we just let her.

but here's what got me this night.
mary asked me to go to the bathroom with her.. and she's like

Mary: so i heard Jason likes you
Russel: yeah, he told me. but i see him as my brother. i don't wanna go out with him.
Mary: well i kinda like him. he's kinda cute.
Russel: haha. oh that's cool. yeah, he's pretty nice. hook up with him
Mary: i will.. tell him i like him. not now though but like, yeah.. you know?
Russel: hahaha. yeah, sure. i will tell him. i always talk to that kid.

then we got into this whole conversation about garrett again. so evidently, she knew about it too but she didn't tell me. she told me that meghan told her that they hooked up before i asked him to sadie's. it was a long time ago. so it was before i happened to him. and they've hooked up a lot evidently. they're like "getting-high" buddies.

one thing that i really hope is that, i hope he didn't kiss her the way he kissed me. you know when you're a kid and you always hear girls ask the guy "did you kiss her the way you kissed me?". when i was a kid, i didn't understand that. i was like, why would that matter, you know? but now, i really understand how it feels. it's just that when garrett kissed me, i looked up at him and i saw him staring at me. and the way he looked at me.. there was something there. i felt it. i knew there was something about the way he looked at me before he kissed me. and i really hope that when he kissed meghan, he didn't look at her like that. i hope he didn't kiss her like that.

it was when he looked at me before he kissed me that i started liking him more than i ever did. it's like, you didn't see the way he looked at me that night before kissing me. you guys don't know. but when he looked at me, it felt real. it felt like he really wanted me.

this is why me finding out that he made out with meghan, hurts a lot.

-- so much for my valentine's day, huh?

2007-02-13T12:13:00.000-08:00

what the fucckkk??

it started off right but ended horribly.

liz was absent. that alone was pretty shitty. but before 2nd hour, i saw garrett standing near the circle and i knew he was there so i didn't really pay attention to him. i was looking for neeko and i didn't realize that he was coming towards me.. and i guess he saw me, so he play-punched my arm and i looked around to see who punched me and i saw him smiling.. and i was just like "oh hey." then i smiled and left. im so dumb. i should've hugged him when he did that. so you know.. my day started right just coz of that. god im such a nerd. anyway, i had an oral exam for spanish and my partner was so retarded. i like hate him forever now. i asked him one question and he bombarded me with like 89374289347 answers. i didn't get the chance to ask him anymore since we have like, limited words to use. my teacher asked us to grade ourselves. from 1-5, 5 being the highest.. and i was honestly expecting a 1 or 2 since i just blew the whole thing because of my partner. but when i got my gradesheet, i got a 3. it's horrible, yes i know. but it was better than i what i expected. my performance was horrible. i just like froze up there.

then before 5th hour, i was talking to garrett and stuff.. then we walked to 5th hour together.. and this girl meghan just honestly pissed me off. now, i hate her more than ever. more than i ever did. i was walking with garrett, you know.. like "quality time" and she came up behind us and she was like "garrett.... hi.. omg that wasn't me. it was kaylee" and she started flirting with him and i just like laughed becuase she sounded so pathetic. and garrett didn't even say a word to her.. but after that i exploded in my 5th hour. i was mad.. then here's the catch.. cami told me GARRETT MADE OUT WITH MEGHAN. i was like whatt the fuckk?!?!
i started freakin out and shit till she told me that it was before i asked him to sadie's. that kinda made it a little better because i mean, it happened like right when i started talking to him. it's not like he knew me before and liked me before. and it's not like he knew i was gonna ask him to sadie's. but now, i hate meghan more than ever!!! i really wanna shoot her and kill her like no fuckin other.

she's such a slutt. she thinks she's so pretty but she's not. she has a boyfriend too. a college boyfriend. and she cheated on him....... WITH MY GUY. like, wtf is wrong with her?!?! she's such a slut....... my god. what a whore.
at least when i made out with garrett, i wasn't like committed to anybody much less, likes anybody. god, she's a fuckin slut. what i don't get though is how could garrett make out with her?! she's like.. ugly. that's what everybody's telling me. so like, how do you think i feel? he made out with her.. and then made out with me?? that's nasty.

so i was just about having the worst day of my life and i skipped 6th hour and i went to go talk to stephanie instead and i was like letting my heart out and steph was like

Steph: well okay, today after lunch, he walked to his locker and i was there.. so i went up to him and i asked him "what do u think of russel?" and he started smiling and he's like "i'm not gonna tell you becuase you're gonna tell her."

that like made me smile. haha. coz i didn't think she would do that. u know? like, i wouldn't think of something like that. well, maybe i would but not like on the spot like that. it was so sweet of her to have done that. but thing is, garrett didn't say what he thinks of me.. so i was like "well that means, he doesn't like me.." and steph's like "no.. then, why would he be smiling and stuff if he didn't like you?"

IIIIII DOOOON'T KNOOWWWWWWWWW.

valentine's day= watching chick flicks, eating ice cream and crying would be my pathetic day. well, i would ask liz if she wants to go out to eat dinner or something tomorrow night. then like, watch movies or something. coz it seems like we wouldn't have classes tomorrow anyway. might be a snowday. it would seem like it because i think we're gonna get 9-11 inches of snow tonight and it'd be impossible for kids to go to school tomorrow. so yeah. that'd be my day. but uh, idk. we'll see.. and we'll see if my daddy will let me. hahaha. i don't wanna go to school because there's no point of going to school because garrett's not gonna be there becuase he's getting a knee surgery on valentine's day. it'll just suck to go to school and see all the couples being cute and shit and like, garrett's not there.. and i'd be all alone. but it's not like if he was there, he'd ask me. but you know, idk. ahaha. so yeah. whatevs. i just don't wanna go to school tomorrow.

2007-02-10T09:53:00.000-08:00

what a day.

let's start during 2nd hour, meiada told me that someone made a fake myspace of garrett. and this loser honestly don't have a life. they took the time to make a layout for garrett and put a song for the myspace. then, they gave sidney ten million comments. it's insane. and, here's the weirdest part, they have a picture of me and garrett up there. and the picture that they have is my default picture. garrett doesn't have a picture of us up on his myspace and only i have it. my profile is set to private.. meaning.. it has to be one of the people in my friend's list. damn. i really wanna find out who made the myspace. im not mad. i think it's hilarious. you guys should see it. and the link is www.myspace.com/christinaenglish. i mean, wtf?! where'd that come from?? it's sooo crazy. then the picture of us that they have, the caption is "me and the love of my life. no she's not mexican. i love you" i was like whattt??? unbelievable. whoever made this myspace doesn't have a life. the comments they gave sidney were like "my saturn ion broke down. the body kit fell off so now im stuck here at russel's. we're cuddling to keep warm. we're in the middle of the forest. don't ask how i gave u this comment" i was like whatt??? hahahahaha. it was sooo funny. garrett knows about it too. and we're just like, what??

but okay, before 6th hour, garrett came up to me and i was liek "hey remind me that i have to ask u something later." and he like smiled at me and he was like "okay." then after 6th hour, he came up to me

Garrett: so what did you wanna ask?
Russel: let's sit down

so we sat down on the bench and everytime i would try to ask him, i would stutter and shit and i couldn't get it out.. and he was like "just say it" and so finally i told him.

Russel: well.. idk. what are we?
Garrett: uh, idk.. i mean, im not really being into a relationship right now. im not really looking for a girlfriend because i have a lot of things goin on right now. my dad and i aren't in good terms right now and then i have this knee surgery goin and like, i messed up some of my classes last semester.."
Russel: oh.. hmm.. that's okay..

i don't know how i looked like but im pretty positive that i looked sad because i tried to smile but i just couldn't. and i felt my body heat and i was like hot. so idk if i was red and all that infront of him. but whatever. then we stood up and he hugged me and he was liek "so that's all you wanted to talk about?" and i was liek "yeah" then he's liek "so are u just hanging here in school?" and i was liek "no, my friend's taking me home"

honestly speaking, i totally understand him. i know he has a lot of stuff goin on and i know that he's not lying about it. i know that. but idk why im so sad. i guess because i didn't ask if he likes me like that. i don't fuckin know why i didn't. and that's like the most important question. im so mad at me. but you know what? everything would've been okay.. but last night we were both on on aim and i tried to talk to him and he didn't say anything. idk.. whatever.

*this is for the nights when you realized that it would never happen*

2007-02-08T14:30:00.000-08:00

update.

so we had a snowday on monday and tuesday. so that meant i had 3 extra days not to see garrett. it actually saved me from like too much awkwardness from last saturday. but you know.. after tuesday, i was glad we had school the next day because i couldn't wait to see garrett. haha.

yesterday:
garrett and i saw each other for the first time after sadie's and it was quite awkward at first, but it wasn't really. we like went back to the way we were before. well not totally since we talk more now and hug more. hahaha. i forgot what happened yesterday but i can just remember some highlights.:) it was before 5th hour and that was when i heard that garrett thinks i hate him. i didn't want him to think that. so while walking to 5th hour garrett was walking infront of me and liz and liz was pushing me into him so i could tell garrett that i don't hate him.. but everytime liz would push me, i would back off.. so then she decided to slap garrett's ass and that was the exact same moment that i tried to hit him with my notebook. so he looked back and saw us and i was like "omg im so sorry that wasn't my hand.." then he was just like "i feel so violated now.." hahaha. then after school, i wanted to talk to him and tell him that i don't hate him.. so while i was talking to him, his friends were around and they were like "is she your girlfriend? is she your girlfriend?" and it was so awkward and we both didn't know how to answer it so i just looked away and i didn't see his reaction to that question but when i looked back at him, he was smiling.:) then tony put his arms around garrett and he was telling me something about how i treat garrett and that i was treating garrett right or something. it was hilarious. but then they had to leave and i had to leave too. so we said bye.-- that was a happy day right there.

today:
i honestly f*ckin thought that he was avoiding me. before 5th hour though, while we were walking, he kept on smiling and i asked him if he was mad at me because he seemed like it. he said no and he said that he was just having a bad day. his police radar got stolen and it's worth like $350 dollars. so he was pissed. then he told me that everything just kinda piled up. he got grounded and then the radar got stolen. it kinda relieved me, but idk. he still seemed so weird though. and he was in my lunch today since he skipped his 4th hour and he was pms-ing. he hasn't told me that time yet though why he was..

i don't know. i soooooo hope that he's not gonna like be a bitch to me anymore. becuase i would honestly cry my heart out if he does. like no other.

2007-02-04T18:27:00.001-08:00

SADIE'S=FIRST KISS :D

so what happened?

i took a shower at 11:30 and attempted to scrunch my hair.. but that didn't happen anymore. so i re-washed my hair and just blow dried it and just kind of poofed it.. u know? at like 2:00, i went to lakeside for my make-up appointment and i didn't go to MAC. i went straight for Bobbi Brown.:) ahha. dude, i love their lipgloss. then around 3:45 i went to liz's.. i did her hair and make up. and then mary came.. and then at like 6 something, he picked us up and drove us to sara's house.. then we took pictures there.. and his car is sooooo cute.:) hahaha! oh wait, shit. i can't say cars are cute. uhm, his car is HOTT. just like the driver.:) hahaha

so something cute happened that i won't say here.. but then we got to the dance and he asked me if i wanted to get dropped off at the front since im wearing a dress and it's snowing outside.. and i said no. so we walked all the way from the parking lot to the entrance and i was FREEZING. so he asked me

Garrett: are you freezing?
Russel: yeahhhh.....
then he hugged me all the way to the entrance..:) it was soo cute.

then at the dance we were soooo grinding. HAHA. and it was hott. last night was full of me hiding secrets from garrett. well it's not like secrets, but im just embarassed. haha! because i did stupid stuff.. and im capable of doing stupid stuff. so after the dance, he's like

Garrett: stay here. i'll warm up the car for you and pick u guys up here.

awww..:D so anyway, after the dance he dropped me off at liz's house and him and sidney got something.. and him, sidney, mary and i chilled in his car and drove around after they got back. after driving around, i was kind of like drunk because i just drank hypnotiq.. yeah that's how it's spelled. he didn't even wanna share it with anyone. he just wanted to share it with me but everyone ended up having a little bit.. then we watched pirates of the carribean.. then garrett had to drop sidney off.. so he left and while he was gone, i was talking to carlene and she was teaching me how to kiss.. and as soon as she said "I'm trying to teach russel how to kiss" to everyone.. garrett showed up from downstairs.. and i was like "shhh carlene" and i went downstairs to him and he was like smiling and he's liek "what's that all about?" and i was like "nothing" but then i've kept like 298374 other secrets from him that night and he's liek "you're gonna end up not telling me all this.. you just keep on sayin you'll tell me later.. but u wouldn't"

FIRST KISS PART:
so i didn't know that people pulled out the bed from liz's pull out couch downstairs.. and so garrett and i decided to lay on the bed.. he let me lay in his arms.. kinda like when guys put their arms around you.. well it was like that.. so my head was on his left shoulder since i was on his left side.. and our faces were so close to each other.. we were watching family guy and the episode got done.. liz turned off all the lights and garrett and i decide to just turn off the tv.

it was so dark downstairs and since our faces were so close to each other, i looked up and i saw him staring at me.. and i just stared back. then i was kinda laughing because it was getting awkward just mushy staring at each other.. and next thing i know... his lips were touching mine! it was the first kiss so i didn't know what to do.. so i just followed his lead. we were making out. like tongue and all that involve! hahaha! my goodness.

then he kinda did something stupid which i wouldn't say here.. but i told him that i'm not gonna do anything with him that night.. so he kinda backed off and he's like "oh you don't wanna do anything?" and i was like "no. i'm sorry" and i was asking him if he was mad or disappointed, and he's like "no.. it's okay" then we started makin out again.:) it didn't last that long. idk why. but it didn't.

but after that, we spent the night just staring at each other, holding hands, cuddling and whispering to each other.:) it was like we were a couple even just for one night. we ended up sleeping, well for the most part.. he slept and i couldn't sleep because all i could do was stare at his face.. becuase the whole night, i was just laying in his arms.. and his other arm was wrapped around me.:) it was so cute. we were like a couple! then he had to leave at 7:00 in the morning because liz's mom was gonna wake up anytime soon and we just kinda snuck him in for the night.. so he wouldn't have to worry about driving home drunk.

when i woke him up i asked if he thinks he can drive home.. and he said yes.. then he put on his shoes and just like stared at me.. then he gave me a hug.. while we were on the couch-slash-bed-where-we-made-out. hahaha. dude, i woke up in his arms! it was so cute! then i asked him if he still wants his hypnotiq and he asked if i knew where it was and i said yeah.. then i like grabbed it from the side of the bed. then he stood up and i stood up and he hugged me again and he went outside to his car..:)

the hypnotiq tastes like ur regular gatorade.. but it like honestly burns you up inside. hahaha. that and strawberry cough aren't a good match.:)

so that was long.. thank you for reading.. and goodnight. for pictures, i'll upload some later.:)

2007-02-02T12:46:00.000-08:00

busy day (applies to today and tomorrow)

today after 5th hour, i got to walk with garrett and our locker area and 5th hour classes are on both other ends of the building.. and my goodness. you guys should've seen how many people tried to kick and punch me while walking with garrett. first, cami. cami thought it would be fun to pinch me on the side TWICE and grip my left arm. then before we parted ways, she yelled out "HAVE FUN TOMORROW!!!' and i was like "oh i will." and we started laughing. then garrett was just looking. then heather who was walking behind me decided to kick me. and i nearly fell and i was like "JESUS CHRIST!" then we parted ways.. then neeko came up to me and hit me on my left arm.. it was crazy. people had hit me because i was walking with garrett and sadie's is tomorrow. and they think it's oh-so-cute that i was with him. CRAZY KIDS.

then when we were near the locker area, he's like

Garrett: so the after party's down at pine st.?
Russel: yeah.
Garrett: oh great party place.. the police station's right down the street

we just started laughing. then like i asked him if he was okay, coz before that he wasn't talking to me.. and he smiled and he's like "yeahh.."

we had the sadie's assembly today and may i just say that all of the people that presented were amazingly good.:) hahahha.

and my friend sparky (who used to be my crush before..:D) drove me home today and he had to drive emily and lauren off too. so we had to go to Stoney Creek Ridge, and guess who i saw while i was there? Brendan. he was leaving his house. so i waived then called him.:) it was funny.

so yeah, i gotta go take a shower and scrunch my hair. so i'll tty losers later.:)

2007-02-01T12:12:00.000-08:00

cute day? sure.

so what happened today?
today is the day where i did and still about to do some stuff for sadie's.

today i finally bought our tickets. i bought garrett's ticket of course.. then i saw him before 5th hour and i just gave it to him.

Garrett: what's this?
Russel: uhm the ticket..?
Garrett: oh. haha. u sure you don't want me to pay you back?
Russel: course not. if you do, i'll take you down

and we all just started crackin up. it was hilarious. and liz and mary were like "oh im sure u can take him down" hahahah. it was crazy. then he inserted it in his wallet.. and it honestly took him like FOREVER to get done. so i just looked at him and my face looked so funny and i was like "you okay there buddy?" and he's like "hahah yeah. i just can't get this thing to fit." and it seemed like he was having the hardest time. it was funny. then we walked together to 5th hour..:) so of course we're both late.:) hahaha. QUALITY TIME guys. try to understand. hahahah. then after 5th hour, we also walked together.. then when we were walking to 5th hour, he even asked me "are u excited?" and i was like mygggoooddd.... why are u askin me that question?!?! i wanted to yell out "MORE THAN YOU'LL EVER KNOW" but no, i just stayed conservative and i was like "yeah. i got like everything all planned out." and when he asked me that, he was smiling and honestly, everytime he smiles, i just die.:) kinda like today, when i was buying the ticket for sadie's, i saw him walkin up the stairs and i called him.. and he flashed me this shy-smile thing. it was crazy.:) hahahaha!

ahhh!! today i have to call liz and ask her what her address is. then, i have to take a shower for the second time today, because today's the last day for me to try what i wanna do for my hair on sadie's.. so i will take a shower and curl it then kind of poof it up. trust me, i can do it.:) then i also have to get my nails done.:) hahaha.. so yeah. i have to go.

i'll talk to you kids later.:)

2007-01-31T15:56:00.000-08:00

oh day

hmm.. what happened today?

not that much really. but today, during first hour, i checked my myspace.. and guess who gave me a comment? Garrett.:) hahaha. yupp. i nearly fell out of my chair when i saw that he gave me one. crazy dude. anyway, today during 5th hour my fone was being passed around because people wanted to see how garrett looks like and i mr. kramer was like "so you're gonna show me that right?" and i was like "no you do not want to see this.." hahaha.. but then people still kept on passing it around.. but at that time, i was laughing already.. and mr. kramer was like "or better yet, we can put it on the projector so the whole class could see" and i was laughing soooooo hard and i was embarassed and it was just soo hilarious.:)

and then during 6th hour today, i kind of skipped it. i went to the guitar room again and i hung out with jason and stephanie. jason's a frosh and he's like "i haven't done anything yet" and i'm like "are you serious? well go to liz's this saturday and you can drink if you want". i'm such a bad influence but whatever.:) ahhaha. then while working out, he texted me and he's like "yeah, don't doubt yourself.. you're hott" and i was like "arrrryyyyttt"

PLANS FOR SADIE'S:

1:00- take a shower
2:00- go to lakeside mall for scheduled make-up appointment at MAC
4:00- go to liz's house and curl her hair and get ready there with Mary
6:30- meet garrett at liz's house then he's takin us to sara's house for dinner and post- sadie's party
8:30- go to Stoney Creek High for Sadie's dance
8:30-11:00- Sadie's dance!
11:00 till whenever- go to liz's house for the after- party

i'm sleeping over at liz's then people are comin over.. then we are going to drink.. (?) hahah. but one rule: we are not letting anybody drive home if they're drunk. i will most especially not let garrett drive home if he's really drunk. coz i have this plan to take advantage of him. HAHAHA. so i'll get him drunk then who knows what else.. then if he's drunk, then i'm not letting him drive home. he's spending the night there. i don't care if we sneak him there. coz the boys's curfew is at 2:00. so when it's past 2 and he's still drunk, we're sneaking him inside liz's room and then just let him drive in the morning.:) hahaha. good plan.

so far, i know of a lot of people who are going to liz's. so that should be fun. coz people are just going to her house.. not the dance. and i think frosh jason is coming there..:) i like texted him for hours today. crazy.

all of my boys are manwhores. GOD.

2007-01-30T17:48:00.000-08:00

I GOT MY PERMIT!!!

i got it. i am going to the secretary of state tomorrow to get my real permit.. like a driver's license almost.. but i have to have 40 hours of drive in the day and 10 hours at night for 6 months minimum. i am sooooo excited for that. i know it's stupid because people don't get too excited for that but whatever, i could care less. i'm just excited coz i can drive already.:) hahaha! then 6 more months, i take my road test and i get my license. woot woot.

I HAVE EMBARASSED MYSELF WAYYYY TOO MUCH FROM DRIVER'S TRAINING. i mean, what was my first incident?? the one where i was driving and garrett saw me, right? well today, i was sitting on the passenger's seat and matt was driving and i saw this silver car with blue stripes.. and i was like "wait, i think i know whose car that is.. do i? wait, i do.. I DO!!" wow.. IT WAS BRENDAN'S CAR!!!! omg. and he saw me and i waived at him. stupid move. i mean, why would i even think of waving at him????? i am so stupid. he just looked at me and tried to figure out who was in the car.. i mean.. that was just honestly so stupid. UNBELIEVABLE.:
so i will buy our sadie's ticket tomorrow.. so yeah. then i got my tmobile bill and my dad's confiscating my fone on sunday after sadie's.....:( i have to pay dundundun $200.00 just for MY bill. and he's confiscating it till i can pay him.. it's sooo stupid. arrrghhh!!!!! i am sooooo mad.:(

so that's enough.

I CAN DRIVE LEGALLY NOW! yay!!!

2007-01-29T18:03:00.000-08:00

5 more days left till sadie's..

nothing extra special happened today.
actually it was kind of a bad day.. like, idk. this bitch megan just wouldn't stop. so she was sitting on the bench with stephanie and garrett and she like glared at me then she started laughing. what pissed me the most though is while she was smirking and shit, she said something to garrett and they all started laughing. so i was like mmkay.. so then after that incident i walked up to stephanie and i asked her what that was all about. stephanie said "oh we were laughing at garrett because he's really stupid" so i believed her. i mean, i believed her because she's stephanie and she wouldn't lie to me.. especially when i found out that she doesn't really wanna be around megan..

anyway, before 6th hour today, garrett was kind of alone and he was by his locker so i yelled out "GARRETT!!!" and as soon as he heard me, he turned around and he flashed me the CUTEST smile and he was running towards me. and i didn't think he would get to me that fast so i started talking to liz and them.. and i noticed they were looking up above me.. so i knew that he's behind me. so i started talking to him and he was just saying sorry to me coz he didn't text me back over the weekend. evidently, he's grounded by his dad and his car got taken away from him. hahahaha. then he just asked what i did over the weekend. and i just told him that i was at the village.

i hope tomorrow don't suck.:\ idk. i just think i've had enough today. since sidney also asked me first thing in the morning "hey, what if garrett doesn't want to go to sadie's?" and i was like "why? does he not want to go?" and he's just like "no, no, no. i'm just saying." and it bothered me for the whole day that i had to go up to him again and ask him if i should be worried that he asked me that and he's like "no.. you know i just want to dick around with you." and that kept me calm for the rest of the day.:)

so i just hope tomorrow don't suck.

I'm really excited for sadie's....:) and i'm excited for the AA prom..:)

2007-01-28T08:09:00.000-08:00

finally.

i haven't updated my blog in soooo long. so now, here it is. i finally had the time to update. i've been so busy with school and especially for sadie's.

SADIE'S IS ONE WEEK AWAY.

which is why today i'm going to DSW to look for shoes, go to lakeside mall to schedule my make-up appointment with MAC. then possibly go to DEBS to look for another dress coz i don't really like my dress for sadie's.. so since DEBS is like 60% off sale.. i will try to look for a dress there. haha. i just wish my mom won't yell at me coz i have a dress already and i will buy a new one.:
anyway, yesterday i drove again. FINALLY. our drive got pushed down wayyyyy too much and it's not even funny. good thing we're drove yesterday and i will drive again for 2 more hours this tuesday. i will be parking.:\ so im nervous for that. so after i drove yesterday, my brother, my mom and i went to the village. i went to abercrombie return some of the clothes that my mom bought me last week because i need bigger sizes. so i exchanged it then we decided to go to abercrombie and fitch to look for clothes again.. then i went to hollister. and guess what? brendan was there. he was working. and so was carlene. so i saw brendan and we hugged. then i went around to look for clothes then i was on the phone with liz and i passed brendan and i ignored him.. so he decided to kick me. HAHA. so then i kicked him back.. and well my mom and my brother left me there and they went back to abercrombie and fitch.. so i chatted with carlene and brendan for a little more then i decided to leave.:) but it was fun talking to brendan again even though earlier yesterday we were texting.

oh and garrett and i also texted. he texted me first so that's cute.:) hahaha.

well well well.. i think i wanna go bake some cookies again. so i'll holla at you guys later..

2007-01-24T14:35:00.000-08:00

flu season.

so evidently A LOT of people are sick these days. mr. ulrich was like "you guys need to wash your hands with orange juice and drink lots and lots of it!" haha. i didn't know you can wash your hands with orange juice. haha!

so today after lunch, i was walking up the stairs and garrett was walking right infront of me with RP, so i punched him from behind and we started talking.. he walked with me instead of walking with RP, then we just started talking about his 4th hour. how it's a blow-off and how he's bored to death in that class. so then we got to the lockers and this was the convo:

Garrett: did you buy your ticket yet?
Russel: no, not yet. i'll probley do that sometime this week.
he said something i couldn't really hear..
Russel: oh i'll buy your ticket.
Garrett: why?
Russel: coz it's sadie's and i asked you to it..?
Garrett: you don't have to
Russel: but i want to
then he was flashing this really cute smile
Garrett: you don't have to....
Russel: but i want to.
Garrett: okay...

it was really cute.:D haha. coz he was like doing this cute little smile while he was telling me that i don't have to buy his ticket and it was cute.:) hahha!

i have econ, math and spanish homework, not to mention my driver's training homework.. so i have to go!:D

later!

2007-01-23T08:46:00.000-08:00

homehomehome

stayed home today. didn't go to school because i'm sick. well i'm getting better.. it's just that yesterday i was so exhausted by everything since i was still coughing and stuff. so today, i stayed home. i need to drink my medicines and i am not doing that.:\ i have to drink ventolin.

anyway, so yesterday was the first day of second semester.. it saddens me that i don't have a class with brendan anymore. although we still talk.. but you know.. it's still different. so here's the list of my classes:

1st- Creative Writting
2nd- Economics
3rd- Spanish II
4th- Aerobics
5th- Geometry
6th- Choir

Sidney's in my first hour, along with Kathy and Emily and like some other people that i know. my second hour is my whole government class.. aka all of the people in my government class are in my econ class too. but there's a bonus. in that class, we have one senior.. dave seaton. and he's really hott. haha. i saw him like last year but i didn't think i would get a class with him. anyway, Spanish is also just like my spanish class last year. i still have megan, paige, lindsey and nora. they're not really all my friends.. paige is my only buddy. but you know, we've all shared a class.. it's not bad. then i have aerobics for 4th hour. i can skip some days of it and go to 1st and 2nd lunch.:) haha! i'm bad. but here's my favorite... 5th hour!! geometry. it's my favorite because garrett's class is government with Mr. Bennion and Mr. Bennion's class is right by Mr. Kramer's class which is my class. so yesterday garrett didn't know where it was.. so i told him that his classroom is right by mine.. so we walked from the junior locker area to the other side of the building.. together.:) it was cute.:) ahhaha!

then i have choir.. oh and tessa's back from indiana. not that many people want her back.

so since im absent today and it looks like i will miss 2 hours of driver's training class.. i will be stuck in school on friday with Bryan (not my favorite person in the world) when the whole class is finished with driver's training.. i am soooo mad.

i hate being sick. i can't eat whatever i wanna eat whenever i wanna eat it. im not normal!!:\

2007-01-21T11:46:00.000-08:00

f-ing winter..

so i haven't blogged lately because i was in constant bed rest. been sick since friday and i'm still kind of sick.. i've been sleeping A LOT. i slept my whole weekend. last friday was cute.. garrett, sidney, neeko, liz and i were all in one circle and i just thought it was funny. garrett hugged me and well they all had to go to their last class to take their tests and as for me, i had to pack my stuff since i was going home because.... i'm effing sick.

so there's not much to tell because my weekend wasn't all that great. tomorrow is the start of 2nd semester and i really hope that i like my classes. i hope i get a class with my friends coz if i don't.. i'll die. haha.:)

SADIE'S IS COMIN UP AND I'M STARTING TO PANIC. i still need to buy him a boutonierre. err..

i miss garrett.

2007-01-18T08:29:00.000-08:00

a happy day

so i got a toffee nut latte from starbucks today. it was pretty good.:) haha

it was my last day to give away gum to people from my 3rd hour. it was kinda sad. i mean, i know i get kinda pissed sometimes when people ask for gum from me.. actually not really.. if i do.. just a little bit. but today was the last day and i felt a little sad. i'll miss that. haha. so anyway, i took that geometry test and i was relieved because the test wasn't as hard as i thought it would be. i thought it'd be so hard.. but the only hard part was the proofs. even though it was multiple choice.. i really just have a hard time figuring out stuff for justifications. so then after 3rd hour, we had a ten-minute break and it was good. of course it was good for me because i was standing there around the circle dome and garrett was sitting on the bench with brent and sid. so i had to be in class at 9:14. and i was honestly standing there for 6 minutes but i didn't go up to garrett. i'm still a little shy, you know? even if we talked for about an hour last night on aim. but so anyway, at like 9:12, i finally got the balls to go up to garrett. so i went up to him and i gave him a hug.. while i was doing that.. he tried to stand up.. and i mean, he's 6'3" and i'm like 5 flat.. so imagine me.. hanging on to him while he was standing.. and i was just like "garrett.. why did you stand up? i'm so short.. i can't reach you.." and to think that i had actually put my arms over his.. so him standing up wasn't really the smartest move. i thought it was hilarious. then i gave sidney a hug and he's liek "hey, what's goin on? i texted you last night and you didn't reply" so i have no idea what is wrong with my fone. because neeko said that she texted me twice last night and i didn't get it.. then sidney texted and i didn't get it.. so idk what's wrong with it.

but it was also my last day in my 4th hour.. i've had stupid memories in that class, but i had good ones too. it might be the most disfunctional class i've ever gotten my whole life.. but i will miss that class.:\ it was one of the best class ever. and i mean because of the people in it. they're so cool and awesome. so that was bye bye karl and all of his friends.. and all of my friends in that class..:\ the test was STUPID AND RIDICULOUS. i don't even know what else to say about it. it's just honestly so so ridiculous.

after the 4th hour test, i went to the bathroom and fixed myself. haha.. that sounded funny. anyway, so i walked out of the bathroom and i kinda saw brendan walking right by me but since we were just intersecting.. i didn't feel the need to say hi. so i just kept walking.. and i felt like he was walking behind me.. so i turned around and i saw him.. he was just staring at me and following me and i just laughed and smiled at him.. and he did the same thing.. then we parted ways..

sooo.. yeah. that was my day. and uh, i know i already said that i talked to garrett last night on AIM for about an hour.. so now that he knows my screen name, when we're both online.. i'll wait for him to IM me.. we'll see if he will..

2007-01-17T16:56:00.000-08:00

somewhere in time, things will go my way

uhm, leave me alone. i don't know what else to put as the title. haha..

a lot of stuff happened today. hmm.. let's see..

this morning i went to starbucks to go get some coffee before school. i went to the drive-through-starbucks. down rochhh road. haha. i got chai latte for me and my brother and fuck that drink. it tasted funky. i think my brother didn't like it.. but i don't know if he drank it. coz i gave my chai latte to my friend. i felt bad because my dad bought me that and i didn't even drink it.. but i honestly didn't like it.. why did i ever get chai latte. stupid stupid move. so anyway, i took my spanish test and i pretty much bulled some parts of the test because i was running out of time.. and i bulled the true or false part because i have a lesser chance of getting the wrong answer. then we had a 10 minute break then i went to my 2nd hour. last day i would ever go to that class.. i'll most definitely miss it.. especially since today the kids were saying thank you and telling me all of the best memories they had with me and brendan. brendan and i were just laughing and smiling.. and justin even rapped for us. it was cute and awkward.. but it was really nice. brendan and i just didn't know what to do. haha. but it was fun.

then i went to liz's house. we went to go get pizza at jet's. then i studied for about an hour.. my brain got so drained and damaged. it was crying. hahaha! then we just went online and looked at people's myspace.. I finally found brendan's myspace. i thought he was too cool for that. but anyway, he has one. and sam's his top 1.. but whatever. it's all good. i love how liz and i went from shopping homecoming and prom dresses to shopping SATURN IONS!!! hahahah..:)

well here's the story behind that.
i saw that Kierston (garrett's ex-gf) left a comment on christina's myspace. so i read it and she was totally trashing this one dude. and she was talking about how trashy she thinks his car is.. and she said it's a saturn ion. then she said that that dude said "i know how to fight back". and i remembered how she asked 3 kids to try to beat up garrett and she was just being immature about the whole thing. so then i remembered how i saw garrette driving that one time while i was driving right next to him and i remembering seeing "saturn" somewhere in his car.. idk what it's called but it's on the lower center rear part of the car.. and it totally says "SATURN". haha. and yeah.. so i thought it was garrette that she's trashing about on christina's myspace.. so that's why i googled "SATURN ION". hahaha!

oh well. then i forgot to hug brendan today. i seriously said i would since it's the last day we'd ever walk together down those halls.. and i just completely forgot.:\ so i just texted him and i said "hey, i forgot to hug you today after 2nd hour.. so here.. hug hug. haha." that should do the trick.

and uhm, he saw my fone's wallpaper which is the picture of garrett's hott body.. and he's like

Brendan: oh yeah.. that's hott alright.
Russel: oh i know.
Brendan: what's ur password?
Russel: i'll do it..

then i grabbed my fone and typed my password.. then he looked at my pictures and he saw garrett's pictures

Brendan: who's garrett?
Russel: the guy whom i asked to sadie's..

and he kept asking all these questions. it was hilarious.

IF YOU SCROLL DOWN A LITTLE BIT AFTER THIS POST.. YOU'LL SEE 2 PICTURES OF GARRETT. ONE OF HIS FACE.. ONE OF HIS BODY..:)

his 8 pack body.:) yummm

2007-01-17T15:18:00.000-08:00

this is Garrett by the way.:)

2007-01-17T14:52:00.000-08:00

2007-01-16T17:07:00.000-08:00

oh this is cute.

haha.. remember my plan? well i decided that i wanna ask garrett to sadie's.. so it didn't go as cute as i thought it would be.. or maybe it's just me.. but anyway, here's what happened:

i talked to Mr. Hickey and the people down the main office, i talked to people in the attendance office and my first hour teacher. i told them that i'm asking this guy to sadie's and i need their help. Mr. Hickey was totally okay with it and he was really nice about it. i didn't even think he would do it for me.. but he did. anyway, so around 8:00 i had gotten garrett called downstairs to the Principal's office and i asked this girl where i could hide. she said i should just go hide at the conference room and she'll call me when garrett gets to the office.. so around 8:o5, she was signaling me that he's in mr. hickey's office already.. sooo.. i saw him.. i knocked on the door, stood there for like .5 seconds and garrett didn't even notice that i'm right there standing at the door. so i just stood there at the door and i was holding the rose and i was like

Russel: hey garrett, will you go to sadie's with me?
Garrett: when is it?
Russel: Feb. 3
Garrett: yeah, sure.

then he stood up, got the rose i was holding and then he gave me a hug.. then i told him that him getting called to the principal's office was all my idea.. that it was just a joke and stuff.. so that was cute.

evidently he was nervous when he got called down to the principal's office because he was kinda high that morning and he thought he got called in the office for that. HAHA. so yeah. that was funny.. i talked to sidney and he said that garrett was like "why didn't u even warn me?" and he said that he did it for me.. then he said that garrett said he's excited.:) ahahahha! cute..

here's what stephanie had to say:

Stephanie: hey, so i talked to garrett
Russel: what?! when?! what'd you say?!
Stephanie: i just asked him "are u going to sadies?"
Russel: what'd he say?
Stephanie: he's like "yeah with russel." and i was like "oh you guys are gonna look so cute." and he's like "yeah i like her.. i think she's really cute.."
Russel: nooo.. shut up. he didn't say that..
Stephanie: you didn't hear it from me.

HAHAHAHAH! omgomgomg. i love it.:)

good day.

i nearly got good in driving today.. but that fuckin road had to be sooo shitty. made me so mad.

2007-01-15T17:56:00.000-08:00

aahhhh!!!!

so i wasn't paying attention whatsoever to who sent me a friend request on myspace.. but guess what? when i looked, i saw it was from GARRETT!

haha.. okay, so now we know his name is spelled with double t. not garrette.. not garret, GARRETT. damn. i knew i was right that one time. anyway...

he's really hott.. don't believe me? he has freakin 8 pack system goin on and it's so cute..

I'm askin him to sadie's and im not telling you guys how im gonna.. just watch my next entry.. which will be tomorrow..:) i hope it works out perfectly....:)

I'M SO NERVOUS. PLEASE PRAY FOR ME!!!!!!!

2007-01-13T08:14:00.000-08:00

a-w-w-w-w..

i was soo tired yesterday that i slept around 5:00 in the afternoon.. straight till 10:30 this morning. gosh. 17 hours of sleep..? oh my. but here's what happened yesterday:

first thing in the morning, i saw sidney at the locker area

Russel: you know, maybe garret was just going with the flow when he said he thinks im cute..
Sidney: okay, so now u callin me a liar? he even wanted to get your number. but you know what? im not even gonna tell you what happened because u don't believe me anyway.
Russel: wait, what?!?! no.. tell me..

so that went on for like another 5 minutes. and then he finally told me how garret wanted to get my number and stuff..

Russel: well you have my number.. why didn't u give it to him?
Sidney: we don't do it like that..
Russel: wait, u mean he's gonna go up to me and ask me for my number?
Sidney: yeah.. what? u nervous now?
Russel: im excited.

so i waited for garret to ask me for my number literally for like a whole day. and i was waiting and waiting.. and i got so destroyed coz after 6th hour i didn't see him anymore and i thought he left already..:(

so anyway, i went up to the locker areas and when i saw him there. it was like around 2:45 already. so when he was about to leave i called him. then he started walking to me..

Russel: why are you still here?
Garret: oh because i was in the office?
Russel: uh-oh.. haha. why? what'd you do?
Garret: i got suspended for 3 days because one time, 3 guys tried to beat me up andi fought back.. so i got suspended for fighting back.
Russel: oh that's stupid. that's really stupid.
Garret: yeah. well, what's your number coz i dnt knw if im doing anything this weekend soo...

so i gave him my number. lauren had my fone so i had to borrow heather's fone and i stored his number there. then he's like "yeah.. well i gotta go coz i gotta get my binder from my teacher's classroom coz i forgot it there." then he hugged me.. and i hugged him back.:)

so of course after that i had to call neeko and i told her that he got number already. she was soo excited for me and garret. like, she thinks garret and i would actually go out. haha. idk. i really don't think we'd ever go out. but idk. yesterday was a happy day. liz and aaron went on a "date" and garret had asked for my number..

anyway, while i was telling neeko what happened, i saw garret walking.. and i had to shut up and i was shocked for like 5 minutes. hhahaa.. then i had to drive for driver's training. so it was embarassing.. coz people we know actually saw me driving.. hahaha!!! it was embarassing.. Ryan Haas and Collin Larkin saw us.. then Mike Koester saw us..

and if that's not bad enough.. guess who else saw me driving?
GARRET!!!

i just about died when i saw him because he looked back. :\ i was sooooo embarassed. i actually put my head down while driving.

2007-01-11T15:07:00.000-08:00

oh boy.:)

so his name is not Garette. his name is Garret. haha!:D anyway, so i talked to sidney last night and i talked to him about garret, liz and neeko. haha! whew. i was like "i have a plan. you hook me up with garret, i'll hook u up with liz.." it was just funny.:)

so today, before 2nd hour.. garret and sidney were walking right infront of me and neeko. so i said hi to sidney and garret, then sidney started smirking and smiling and then he made this "shh" sign.. like, when you put ur index finger on ur lips. so then garret looked at me and said "why?" and he just said "nothing" but he started smiling again and neeko and i were just laughing so hard. then during 2nd hour, brendan and i talked and he had my fone for the whole hour and ehh.. idk. i really didn't like it. but u know what? i didn't really care anymore. so then after 2nd hour, i went upstairs and i saw sidney and i just about killed him because i didn't want him to tell garret and i thought he told him. so i went to the circle and i punched him and i was getting mad as a joke and shit and garret came up to us and he's like "hey.. what'd sid do?" and i just pulled sidney to the side and i made him my human punching bag.:) so then during 4th hour, i texted sidney and i asked him what lunch garret has and he's like "yeah. first lunch with me" and i told him that i should chill with them and skip my 4th hour. and he told me to do it.

so after freakin Ms. Tandy got done talking, i asked her if i could go to the bathroom and so when i walked outside, i saw sidney, mark, garret and jared all sitting on the bench. so i went up to them and i started talking.. then i saw stephanie so i kinda ditched sidney and them. then they were all looking at me and smiling and stuff. so i called sidney and i signaled for him to come to me. so he did and i punched him again and i was liek "you told him, didn't you?!?!?" and then i started punching him again and he started running. so i chased him and we finally stopped running around and he told me this:

Sidney: aryt, okay.. see here.. all i know is that he thinks you're cute too.

i just about died and i started laughing and it was soo cute. HAHA. sidney told me how it happened.. how he found out and shit. so.. yeah. idk. i kinda don't believe him coz he might just have said that to go with the flow..? idk. whatevs.:) im just happy. so yeah.

now, i would always hug garret, mark and sidney. i actually gave garret a hug today.:) before 3rd hour. haha! great. wow. i dnt think garret and i would happen. idk. i just think it might not. so idk..

i mean coz it's garret.. and like sidney told me something about garret that i don't think can put up with.. so idk.

ANYWAY, i drive again tomorrow:) so i'll tell you guys all about it tomorrow.:)

2007-01-10T15:17:00.000-08:00

oh so annoying.

last night i went to brendan's basketball game and may i just say that it was such a waste of my $5.00. so here's the story behind that.. i went to his game and i sat there. got there early so at least i thought he'd appreciate it. so then i was like on the look out for sam. i was looking and lookign and i was very very cautious. so i was telling liz "maybe that's sam" like every 5 seconds. i like hit on all the brunettes there. HAHAHA! so i finally gave up since liz was like "you need to chill and not worry about it" so i was like mmkay. then probley after the 2nd half.. this girl yelled out "SAM!!!!!!!!!" and i just about died when i turned my head. wala ng mas bibilis pa sa pag-ikot ng tingin ko kay sam. HAHAHA. so she sat like right next to me. and i just thought that it's funny because of the whole situation. like, brendan knows we're sitting next to each other.. and i know what's goin on. but idk if sam does.. i bet she doesn't. so i just thought it was hilarious. haha. but it was just a waste. idk.

TODAY:
during 2nd hour, brendan wanted to borrow my fone. and he was asking me for it since i'm typing the whole hour anyway.. and he wanted to play brick breaker. so i told him no because i was talking to Paola through AIM and i was texting to stephanie. so i told him NO and he did this little cute thing where when you like plead to someone.. u do that lower lip thing.. and i just about gave in to that.. but i stood strong and i said NO. and i told him to get away from me since i have to do something and i can't really talk and i sound like a man since i have a cold. so he's like "yeah.. you def sound like a man. you're def getting sick" and yeah. that was it. we didn't walk together from 2nd hour coz he was busy.

BREAKING NEWS:
karl and emily went out...? that's what emily said. but idk. i really don't care anymore. i just didn't know. and im shock. so yeah. whatevs.:)

CUTE SOMETHING.......:)
so i've been like crushing on this guy Garette since like i saw him beginning of this year. i didn't know he's new. but i thought i just never saw his face before. so then today, while i was walking to my 3rd hour, i saw sydney, mark and garette altogether. so i gave sydney and mark hugs.. since i didn't really know garette.. it'd be weird to give him a hug. so when i gave those two their hugs, mark and sydney were like "aww.. no hug for garette?" and i was like stunned. so i turned around and i gave garette a hug.. and we kinda talked and stuff coz i thought i saw him last night in main street. so yeah. but i was like OMG because i didn't really think i would ever give him a hug. so then every time i'd see him.. i can say hi to him now. and i give him hugs now. before 6th hour.. i told neeko and liz what happened and i told them that i'm gonna hug him again. so they followed me and i talked to sydney first then i turned around and gave garette a hug. and omg. i felt his chest man. that was CUTE.:) omg. hahahha!

but today in driver's training..well, more of after.. brian was like asking me all these questions about sadie's.. and i think that if it wasn't sadie's.. he would've asked me to it because he was asking me "so wait, did u want me to go to sadie's with you?" and he was asking all these questions about it. i told him that he could join my group if he wants to.. but im not even sure if i wanna ask anyone.. idk. haha. but if i do.. it'd be garette.. but that's like awkward though.. since he's sooooooooooooo effing tall. hahaha! mygod. so idk. hahaha! man, im really whoosh.so yeah.. i feel bad for brian.. but i really wouldn't go to sadie's with him. i said he could join my group if he doesn't get asked and he really wants to go. but not as my date.

OH LOVELY.